


my house of stone, your ivy grows (and now i'm covered in you)

by LostGeekMonkeyGirl



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Smut, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Slow Build, Slow Burn, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostGeekMonkeyGirl/pseuds/LostGeekMonkeyGirl
Summary: Dani and Eddie have just moved to England when Dani meets a beautiful young landscaper who they hire to design their garden and has her questioning everything that she’s ever known.Based on the song ‘ivy’ by Taylor Swift.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Edmund O'Mara, Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 46
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, it’s a brand new fic!! I’m not exactly sure where this will go, but I had the idea and thought that I’d have a go at writing it so please let me know what you think, I’d love to get some feedback!! :)

“Danielle? I'm home” Eddie called out as he shut the front door of his and Dani’s new home together. He took his shoes off and placed them on the shoe rack by the door as not to tread dirt on the brand-new carpets. Dani hated when Eddie wore his shoes in the house, especially now as the cream carpets that had just been laid two weeks prior weren’t going to stay that colour if he walked dirt in on them from the outside.

“I’m in the kitchen” Dani shouted back as she finished chopping the potatoes for their dinner.

“Hey, how was your day?” Eddie asked as he placed a soft kiss on Dani’s cheek before he put his bag on the kitchen table and sat down.

“Good, I just cleaned up mostly and unpacked the last remaining boxes” Dani said as she started to chop more vegetables, “What about you, how was your day?”.

“Good, I think. I’m still getting used to the place, but everyone seems friendly so far” Eddie said as he rummaged through his bag as if he was looking for something.

“Well, that’s good. I’m sure you’re going to fit in just fine here. How different can England be to America?” Dani chuckled as she threw the chopped vegetables into a pan.

Eddie just chuckled before he pulled out a small business card from his bag. “I stopped by that hardware store we passed yesterday, and I found a landscaping company that we might be able to use. The man behind the counter said that they were very good so maybe I could give them a call tomorrow?” Eddie said as he stood up and handed Dani the card.

Dani looked down at it and ran her thumb over the name. “The Leafling” Dani read out loud, “Cute name. If you don’t get a chance to ring in the morning, I can always do it later in the day, it’ll give me something to do”.

Eddie laughed and wrapped his arms around Dani’s waist, “How long is it now until you start your job?”

“4 weeks” Dani groaned as she placed her hands on top of Eddie’s, “What am I going to do for 4 weeks? I’ll lose my mind”.

“Relax” Eddie chuckled as he kissed Dani’s cheek.

“You know I can't do that” Dani giggled as she stepped out of Eddie’s grip and towards the fridge to carry on making dinner.

Dani padded down the stairs the next morning yawning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Eddie always left for work pretty early every morning, so Dani usually took advantage of the queen-sized bed to herself and slept in most mornings since she didn’t have to go to work.

Dani reached out a tired arm to open the fridge but stopped just short of the handle as her eyes fell on a bright yellow post-it note that was stuck on the fridge door. ‘Landscape company coming at 9:30am’ Dani read with narrowed eyes as she had yet to put her contacts in.

“Shit” Dani whispered under her breath as she looked over at the clock on the wall which read 9:14am.

Dani ran upstairs and quickly tried to make herself look presentable. Her blonde hair was messy and slightly matted from the friction of her pillow and her nightshirt still had a stain on from where she had spilt her drink two nights ago.

15 minutes later, Dani quickly looked herself over in the hallway mirror before her attention was turned to the front door as the bell rang.

Dani unlocked the front door, pulled on the handle and as she opened the door, she expected to be met with a tall, slightly muscular middle-aged man but when she was met with the complete opposite, she furrowed her eyebrows and an audible “Oh” left her mouth.

“Mrs O’Mara?” the young brunette asked as she scanned her eyes over Dani and smirked a little.

“Yes?” Dani asked, slightly confused as to why a beautiful young woman, clad in a pair of dirty overalls was knocking on her door early in the morning and also knew her name.

“I’m from the landscaping company, your husband called this morning” the young brunette stated as she switched her weight from one foot to the other.

“Oh, right, yes. I’m so sorry, I only just woke up, my brain is taking a little longer than the rest of me” Dani chuckled nervously as she stepped aside to let the woman into her house. For some reason the brunette made Dani feel all nervous and giggly, like she was 14 again but she just put it down to being a little flustered from the sudden surprise of having a visitor and only waking up 30 minutes ago.

“S’alright” the brunette said and smirked as she climbed the three small steps that lead into Dani’s townhouse, “Ya look pretty good to say you just woke up though”.

Dani let out a shy giggle at the comment and couldn’t help the bright red blush that spread across her cheeks and the brunette just raised an eyebrow as she caught a quick glimpse of the heavy blush before Dani turned her head to hide her face.

“I’m Jamie, by the way” the young woman said as she stopped on the doormat, “Want me to take my shoes off? Don’t wanna ruin ya new carpet”.

“Oh yes, if you want to, the shoe rack is just there” Dani said after trying her best to compose herself and stop the blush on her cheeks. She was surprised that the young woman was so considerate of her new carpet even though she didn’t live here. Eddie lived here and didn’t even care about leaving mud on the carpets, so it was a nice change.

Jamie proceeded to take her mud-covered boots off and place them on the shoe rack as Dani closed the door.

“We can go in the kitchen if you’d like. Can I get you a drink or something?” Dani asked as she led the way into kitchen. As she turned around a little to check that the young woman was still behind her, she caught her eyes slowly trail up her back before they met hers. The young woman didn’t try to disguise her very obvious checking out of Dani and gave her a small smirk as she saw the bright red fill Dani’s cheeks once more.

“Yeah, ya got tea?” Jamie asked once Dani had quickly shot her head back around in an attempt to disguise the blush once again.

“Oh” Dani said as she processed Jamie’s request, “I don’t have tea, sorry. Will coffee be okay? Or I've got juice or water or-?”

“Coffee will do, thanks” Jamie said as she heard Dani get a little flustered at not having what she wanted. “Shoulda know you yanks wouldn’t have any tea in” Jamie joked as she came to a halt near the kitchen island, not sure of what to do next.

Dani just laughed as she took two mugs out of a cupboard and proceeded to make coffee for them both.

“Oh, you can have a seat if you’d like” Dani said motioning to the kitchen island as she turned to look at Jamie hovering in the middle of the room.

“Thanks” Jamie said as she climbed up on one of the stools. “Nice kitchen you’ve got” Jamie stated as she looked around the room instead of at the gorgeous woman stood in front of her.

“Oh, thank you. We didn’t actually choose it, we just moved in, but it is nice enough isn’t it” Dani said focusing on the coffee in front of her instead of turning around to look at the brunette behind her who was probably looking her up and down again. Dani couldn’t put a finger on the exact feeling that Jamie made her feel, it was an odd mix of nerves and excitement but regardless of what it was or what it meant, Dani liked it. It was exhilarating.

“From America?” Jamie asked which broke Dani out of her thoughts.

“Sorry?” Dani asked as she turned around to look at Jamie for clarification of the question.

“Did ya just move from America or have ya been here for a while?” Jamie asked with a straight face, which was the first time that she had spoken without a smirk on her lips.

“From America” Dani said smiling softly and turning back to carry on making their coffee, “We’ve been here about 4 weeks now”.

“What made ya move here? Sorry if I’m being nosey, just wondering what makes a beautiful American like yaself pack up and move to shitty England?” Jamie asked, leaning forward a little more on her tattooed forearms as she spoke.

Dani had basically tuned out after Jamie had called her ‘beautiful’ so had missed the rest of the question, but she understood what Jamie was trying to ask.

“My husband” Dani said as she finished making the coffees but not turning around until the heavy blush that had arisen at Jamie calling her beautiful had faded a little, “He got a promotion so here we are”.

Jamie just nodded and raised her eyebrows a little. “So, you didn’t really wanna come here then, it was more for him?” Jamie asked, not wanting to pry too much but was a little curious to know more about Dani’s circumstances.

“No, I did want to come, I think” Dani said as she finally turned around and walked the short distance towards Jamie and handed her the mug of coffee, “It’s just all so new, you know?”.

Jamie smiled sincerely, “Yeah, it’s a big step right, moving to another country. Course you’re gunna have some apprehensions, that’s totally normal”.

Dani smiled softly at Jamie as she sat down beside her. Her heart rate had slowed a little at Jamie’s sincere comment and reassuring smile. “Yeah, but I’m liking it so far. Everyone seems friendly enough, not that I've met too many people, I’ve been locked in here unpacking” Dani said giggling a little.

“You should get out more, do some explorin’, Poppins. There’s a lot to see round here” Jamie said chuckling, “I could show ya round sometime if ya want, show you the sights of London”.

Dani paused a little and her heart fluttered at the nickname Jamie had just called her. She hadn't even known her 2 minutes and she had already given her a cute little pet name.

“Really?” Dani asked smiling widely, “I’d like that”.

Jamie hadn't actually expected Dani to say yes to her offer, even though she was serious. Jamie would never have offered that to anyone else but there was something about Dani that intrigued her. She was an obviously stunning young woman, but she was married which wasn’t usually Jamie’s type as she liked to avoid any type of drama, but something told her that maybe Dani would be worth the effort.

“Why ‘Poppins’?” Dani asked, referring to the name that Jamie had just called her.

Jamie shrugged, “It just came to me now, ya seem like a schoolteacher or something, thought it might be a fitting nickname, y’know with Mary Poppins and everything. Plus, I don’t know ya actual name, do I?”.

“How did you know that I’m a teacher?” Dani asked as she furrowed her eyebrows at a now smirking Jamie.

“You’ve just got that vibe, I guess. All wholesome, kind and caring but with the ability to be stern when ya need to be” Jamie said through a smirk.

“How did you-” Dani uttered amazed at how well Jamie had read her given the short amount of time that they had known each other.

“Kinda have a thing for teachers” Jamie said as she flashed a wink at Dani which instantly caused a deep red blush to occupy Dani’s cheeks again.

“So, you call everyone Poppins then?” Dani shot back, a little disappointed that it might not be just a special nickname given to her by Jamie.

“Nope, that name is just reserved for you, Poppins” Jamie said smiling sincerely.

Although Jamie had told her the truth, Dani couldn’t help but question the validity of the brunette’s statement and wonder if she had actually called others the name in the past.

Dani just let out a soft chuckle as her fingers fiddled with the handle on her mug as she avoided eye contact with Jamie in hopes that it would calm her ridiculously fast heartrate. 

“It’s Dani by the way, my name” Dani said quietly as she lifted her eyes a little to look at Jamie.

“Dani” Jamie said softly as she tried the name out, “Pretty name for a pretty woman”.

Jamie let a few seconds of silence pass as she watched the flustered blonde in front of her compose herself and the blush in her cheeks start to fade.

“So,” Jamie said which caused Dani’s gaze to automatically turn to the woman next to her, “What do ya want me to do with ya garden then?”.

“Oh, yes, right. Sorry I forgot all about that” Dani chuckled as a slight blush filled her cheeks again for what had to be the tenth time since Jamie had arrived.

“No worries, Poppins. I like sitting here and talking to ya but I’m guessing ya didn’t call just to have someone keep ya company” Jamie said smirking a little and tilting her head as she watched Dani walk over to the kitchen table and retrieve some papers which she then handed to Jamie.

Dani pretended to ignore Jamie’s comment, but she couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face as she heard the comment. She did enjoy Jamie’s company too and she didn’t exactly know why. She had boiled it down to feeling a little lonely and not having any friends in England yet, but that didn’t explain why her heart fluttered every time her eyes met Jamie’s. 

“I drew up some plans the other day, I hope you don’t mind. I thought it might give you a better idea of what we wanted then me just rambling” Dani said as she sat back down next to Jamie.

Jamie spread the detailed plans out on the island to observe and Dani’s heart and stomach did a few flips as Jamie’s little finger brushed against hers in the process. 

“Wow, Poppins, these are really good. Never had a customer make me such detailed plans before, are ya coming after me job or what?” Jamie said chuckling as she studied the plans more closely.

Dani just giggled and said, “Oh thanks, I just put them together last minute, nothing special”.

“Hey, take some credit Dani, these are great” Jamie said seriously as she focused on the plans in front of her.

“Thanks” Dani said smiling softly at Jamie before she said, “These are just a guide though, if you think things should be moved then that’s fine. And you can have full creative control over the flowers and plants as I have no idea what would work where”. 

Jamie smiled as Dani started to laugh softly. Dani’s laugh sounded so beautiful and Jamie’s heart fluttered a little when she heard it.

“Sounds good, Poppins” Jamie said as she bit her lip lightly as she watched Dani smile brightly at her, “Do you mind if I ‘av a look around a little?”.

“No, of course” Dani smiled as she stood up and lead Jamie towards the back door.

“How long do you think it would take you?” Dani asked as she stood by the back door watching Jamie wonder around her garden.

“Couple of weeks maybe. I should be able to get everything you want with no issues” Jamie said as she continued to inspect Dani’s garden which was just a blank canvas covered in patches of grass.

“When can you start then?” Dani asked.

“Ya hiring me then, Poppins?” Jamie asked with a small smirk, “I should be able to start tomorrow, all going well. I’ve got a job to finish off today but after that, I’m all yours”.

“Oh wow, so soon. That’s great” Dani said smiling widely. She couldn’t tell if the excitement in her chest was due to the fact that her garden project was going to be starting sooner than she had expected or due to her being able to see Jamie again.

“So, what time would be good for you then tomorrow?” Jamie asked as she made her way towards Dani.

“Any time is good, I don’t really have a lot going on” Dani chuckled.

“Same time as today then?” Jamie said smirking a little as she watched Dani fidget with her fingers nervously. She didn’t know if Dani was just a nervous person in general or if it was her presence that was making her nervous. Either way, Jamie found it endearing. 

“Yeah, sounds good” Dani said as she stepped inside and lead Jamie towards the front door.

“It was nice meeting ya, Dani. Thanks for the coffee” Jamie said as she collected her boots from the shoe rack.

“It was nice meeting you too” Dani said, smiling softly as she watched Jamie put her boots on, “So, I’ll see you tomorrow than?”.

“Sure will, Poppins. Bright and early” Jamie said as she flashed a wink in Dani’s direction as she walked down the three steps that lead up to Dani’s house.

Dani smiled as she watched Jamie climb in her slightly muddy truck and waved as Jamie disappeared out of view.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 is up! I'm sorry for the delay in uploading but I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think! :)

Dani’s alarm went off at 8am, although she had been awake a lot earlier. All night she had tossed and turned as she thought about the young brunette from the landscaping company who had visited the day before. Every time she had closed her eyes, all she could see was Jamie’s slightly cocky but very endearing smirk and it made her feel things she didn’t want to feel. 

Ever since she was a teenager, Dani had always been fascinated by women. Butterflies had always occupied her stomach every single time a woman flashed her a warm smile or said anything remotely like flirting to her. The feeling had always confused her. She loved Eddie, she had always loved Eddie, but the romantic trajectory that their relationship had been pushed into by those around them had always felt weird and uncomfortable to her. Eddie loved her, that was obvious, but it was in a way that she could never seem to reciprocate. She still loved him in the same way that she had done when they were children, innocent and unaware of the complexities that life would bring them, but she knew that the love had changed for Eddie after they had begun dating in high school. Dani had just gone along with what everyone else in her life had wanted her to do and she hoped that one day her love for Eddie would match the love that he felt for her. She wasn’t unhappy, necessarily, but she didn’t exactly feel fulfilled either. There was no spark or intense desire between her and Eddie. She had just hoped that it would come in time, but it was still yet to appear. She was happy with the life that she had created with Eddie, it was the picture-perfect life that she had always dreamed of. They were childhood sweethearts who had gotten engaged, then married and now lived a peaceful, modest life across the pond in England. But there was always something in the back of her mind that made her question the life that they had built.

Every once in a while, Dani would come across a woman who would make her feel things that she had never felt with Eddie before. It was a mix of nerves, excitement and longing that just felt so right, but she would always shake it off before she thought too much about it and she would carry on with her life like nothing had ever happened, but then there was Jamie. No one had ever made her feel the way Jamie makes her feel, maybe because she had never actually engaged in a conversation with a woman who had made her feel like that before, but there was just something about Jamie that made her feel alive. 

All night her mind had been filled with thoughts about Jamie and even when she had fallen asleep for an hour or so, her dreams were filled with Jamie too. By the time her alarm had gone off at 8am, Dani had had about a total of 4 hours of sleep. Her hand made its way out of the duvet and landed heavily on top of the alarm to shut it off as she groaned loudly.

Dani showered and got ready for the day, taking extra care than she usually did. She curled her hair lightly, put her favourite lipstick on and even put on her perfume that she saved for special occasions. Although she had tried to deny that she had made the extra effort for a certain short tattooed landscaper who would be arriving in approximately 30 minutes, Dani couldn’t deny that this was the best that she had felt since arriving in England. 

The doorbell rang at 9:30am on the dot and Dani was stood nervously behind the door in anticipation of her visitor. Her palms were covered in a thin layer of sweat and her heart was beating a lot faster than it usually did as she pulled on the handle and opened the door.

The sight that graced her eyes did nothing to help the sweat and racing heartbeat and an audible “Wow” escaped her mouth as she looked down at the young brunette stood in front of her.

“Morning” Jamie said as she watched Dani’s mouth fall open a little and eyes scan her up and down when she opened the door. The extra effort that Jamie had put in that morning had clearly payed off and it had looked like Dani had done the same thing.

Jamie smirked as she watched Dani nervously fiddle with the handle of the door as she stepped aside to let Jamie in. Jamie took her boots off and placed them on the shoe rack just as she had done the day before.

“You look…” Dani said nervously as she watched Jamie place her shoes on the rack beside her. Jamie was dressed in a white cropped top that showed off her tattooed midriff which was covered in what looked to be flowers and her very short denim shorts also exposed one of her thighs that was covered in a similar design. Dani had gotten a quick look at Jamie’s tattooed forearm the day before as the sleeves of shirt were rolled up, but Dani hadn't imagined that the rest of Jamie’s body would be covered in tattoos too. 

“Don’t look so bad yaself, Poppins” Jamie said winking as she stood up and waited for Dani to lead the way into the kitchen.

A deep heavy blush spread across Dani’s cheeks as she lowered her head and busied herself with closing the door and fiddling with the lock.

“Coffee?” Dani asked as she kept her head low as to disguise the blush that was still occupying her cheeks as she led the way into the kitchen. 

“If ya don’t mind” Jamie said as she followed Dani into the kitchen. As she did so, she stole a quick look at Dani who was dressed in a bright yellow summer dress which was decorated with soft pink flowers. Jamie smiled as she thought about Dani picking it out of her wardrobe that morning knowing that she was coming. A part of Jamie had hoped that Dani had chosen it specifically for her, but the likelihood was extremely small. Maybe Dani just wore the dress because it was hot outside and she wanted to keep cool, but something told Jamie otherwise. 

Jamie’s suspicions were right, Dani had specifically chosen that dress that morning, which had been buried in the back of her wardrobe as Eddie didn’t like the dress and she thought that Jamie might be the only one who would really appreciate it. And from the look on Jamie’s face when Dani had opened the door, Dani was right.

Jamie took a seat at the kitchen island like she had done the day before and pulled out the plans that Dani had given to her.

“So, I've made a few amendments to your plans, I hope you don’t mind” Jamie said as she spread the pieces of paper out on the surface.

“Of course not” Dani said smiling as she handed Jamie her coffee that she had made a few minutes earlier to help keep herself busy.

“No wedding ring on today?” Jamie stated as she noticed the simple gold band missing from Dani’s left hand. The comment was more of a simple observation that was accidently said aloud, and Jamie hadn't meant to imply anything with it.

“Oh” Dani said as she looked down at her left hand. “Oh, I must have forgotten” Dani giggled, a little flustered by the comment, “I was in a rush this morning”. That wasn’t true, Dani had had more than enough time to get ready that morning, but she hadn't noticed that she had failed to put on her wedding ring, an act that she did every morning, without fail, as soon as she woke up.

“Woke up late again?” Jamie said, smiling softly at the blonde as she cursed herself silently for blurting out her observation.

“Yeah, something like that” Dani chuckled as she took a seat next to Jamie, seemingly unphased by the comment.

“Do I need to buy ya an alarm clock, Poppins?” Jamie said laughing lightly before she took a sip of her coffee. Dani’s coffee wasn’t the best, but it would do. Jamie had had the urge the day before, after she took her first mouthful of the beverage, to spit it back into the cup but she didn’t. There was something so endearing about how Dani had reacted to not having the drink that Jamie wanted and wanting to make her another one that Jamie hadn't had the heart to tell her that the coffee she had made her tasted awful. However, todays cup wasn’t as bad as the previous days, so it made Jamie’s experience far more bearable. Maybe it was Dani’s nerves that caused her to make bad coffee or did Dani just make bad coffee regardless of how she was feeling? And for some reason, it was a question that Jamie was hoping that she would get to find the answer to.

“Maybe” Dani giggled as she shifted a little closer to Jamie so that she could see the plans better.

“So,” Jamie said as tried to focus on the pieces of paper in front of her instead of Dani’s intoxicating perfume and the way her soft blonde hair was tickling her bare shoulder a little as Dani inched in closer to her, “I thought the water feature would work better in this corner next to the seating area. I really like the sound of running water, it’s one of the very few things that relax me, so I thought that it would be more appreciated there rather than in the opposite corner. You can totally disagree with me if ya want, that’s fine. I just thought that you would get more out of it if it was there”.

“No, no, I love that idea. I honestly hadn't thought about being able to hear the water, I was just thinking that a water feature was more for a visual rather than an auditory benefit” Dani said smiling softly as she tried to imagine sitting in the sun listening to the sound of soft trickling water next to her.

“That was the only change I made to your original plan. I can run through some of the ideas I had about the plants, if ya want me too, just to make sure you like them. I know you said I could have full creative control and all, but I would like your opinion. It is your garden after all” Jamie said chuckling as she shuffled the plans around to look for the one that she wanted.

Dani listened as Jamie enthusiastically told her about the ideas that she had had about what plants she would like to put in Dani’s garden. She loved the way that Jamie came to life when she spoke about what she was passionate about. Her usual reserved domineer was exchanged for a livelier and more enthusiastic Jamie. Her hands flailed a little as she talked and described how and why each plant should be placed where she had suggested, almost like she was pitching a business idea to investors. Dani loved how she thought that Jamie was trying to convince her of her decisions, like Dani had any experience with gardening at all. It didn’t matter what Jamie suggested, Dani would go with it as she trusted her expert opinion, in the end, that’s why she had hired her. 

____

“So, erm, will it just be you or will you bring someone to help you as well?” Dani asked as she sat on her doorstep with a glass of iced tea in her hand as she looked around the garden. Jamie was sat next to her on an overturned bucket eating her lunch. 

The weather was nice that day, not too hot, not too cold so Dani had decided to join Jamie outside for lunch. She had left Jamie to it once she had agreed to her plans for the garden and she had tried to busy herself with something else. However, no matter how hard she tried to occupy herself, Dani always found herself standing in her bedroom window watching Jamie work. Dani couldn’t take her eyes off the way the sun kissed Jamie’s pale skin, the way her now not so white shirt rode up and exposed more of her tattoo when she stretched or the way she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand in an attempt to rid her forehead of the thin layer of sweat that had built up as she dug. Eventually Dani just let herself stare at the young brunette. She had tried so hard to stop herself, but nothing was working so, she just gave into her desire. However, she regretted it when Jamie caught her looking at her on more than one occasion.

“Should be able to do most of it myself. Will need to bring one of the lads in to help with the decking, kinda a two-man job at least. Depending on what other jobs the guys have on, I might be able to bring two extra pairs of hands to help me” Jamie said as she took a bite of her sandwich.

“You know I can always make you something to eat” Dani said as she eyed up Jamie’s lunch which consisted of half a cheese sandwich and a packet of crisps. It didn’t look very appealing and even Jamie herself didn’t look to be enjoying it as she kept washing each mouthful down with a drink, “If you would want me too, I don’t mind. Kinda lacking in things to do anyway”.

“I could tell with the way ya kept watching me though ya window” Jamie said smirking.

“I-erm, I, I wasn’t watching you” Dani said nervously, her voice giving away that what she was saying was clearly a lie, “I just, I just wanted to see how the garden would maybe look from that angle, that’s all”.

“Oh, right” Jamie said, her smirk growing bigger as Dani stumbled through her excuse, “Honestly Poppins, I don’t mind ya staring, quite like it actually. I pride myself on putting on a good show while I work”.

The blush on Dani’s cheeks that she was trying very hard to control, only increased at Jamie’s comment.

“I- I wasn’t looking” Dani said again, trying to convince Jamie that she wasn’t stood at her bedroom window wondering where the tattoo on her midriff went and if it was connected to the one on her thigh or if they were two separate pieces.

“Okay” Jamie said, her smirk turning into a soft smile, “But like I said, it’s okay if ya were”.

Dani just took a long sip of her tea to hide her smile as she thought of a way to change the topic, but Jamie had already beat her to it.

“And ya don’t have to make me lunch, Poppins, really. I’m good with what I’ve got” Jamie said, also wanting to change topics to save Dani’s cheeks from the heavy blush that was still occupying them.

“You sure, I really don’t mind. I have to make myself something every day anyway and I hate cooking for one” Dani said, offering Jamie a soft smile as she placed her glass on the floor beside her. As well as saving Jamie from having to eat what looked it be an awful lunch every day, Dani hoped that if she made Jamie something to eat then they would get a chance to sit together and talk every day too. Although Jamie made her heart race and her cheeks turn a bright shade of red, Dani had never felt so comfortable around someone before and she hoped that maybe Jamie would turn into a friend and not just another person to come to their house and complete a job.

“Only if you insist” Jamie said, felling like maybe Dani wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“I do insist. No more boring cheese sandwiches then. I can't have you working so hard all day and not give you something in return” Dani said smiling widely at Jamie’s answer.

“Well, I could think of something else I’d like in return” Jamie said smirking as she flashed a playful wink at Dani and watched as the heavy red blush filled her cheeks once again before she looked away shyly, “But lunch sounds good. Kinda sick of me piss-poor cheese sandwiches anyway”.

Dani let out a soft laugh at Jamie’s second comment as she turned to look at her again. Although she knew that every time she looked into Jamie’s eyes her cheeks would turn the colour of the flowers on her dress, but there was just something so exhilarating about it too that would make her keep doing it anyway.

“It’s settled then” Dani said grinning widely at Jamie, “Do you have any allergies?”.

Jamie just laughed as she shook her head lightly, “You do realise you are paying me, right? I’m not doing this out the goodness of me heart”.

“I know. But your sat talking to me out of the goodness of your heart, I'm guessing that’s not in the contract? Plus, just indulge me, okay? Let me make you lunch, it gives me something to do and I hate to see you eat those cheese sandwiches every day, they can't be good for you”.

“Oh, Poppins,” Jamie said chuckling, “I’ll indulge ya anytime you want me too”.

The afternoon had carried on just like the morning had done. Jamie went back to work, and Dani went back to wondering aimlessly around her house as she tried her best not to keep watching Jamie. By the time Jamie left for the day, Dani had only watched her on 4 separate occasions which felt like a great achievement to say that the desire to just stand at her bedroom window all afternoon was extremely high.

She was sure that Jamie was just doing things as she knew that Dani would be watching her. Jamie seemed to bend down slightly lower than needed to and she kept wiping her face on her t-shirt which allowed Dani more than a good look of Jamie’s toned and tattooed abdomen. As a result, Dani now knew that the tattoo she could see on Jamie’s midriff carried on up her ribcage and went into her shorts. Dani had guessed that since it was all seemingly one design, that the tattoo that started somewhere at the top of her ribcage and continued down her side was likely connected to the one on her thigh too.

“Danielle” Eddie said firmly as he waved his hand in front of Dani’s face which quickly drew her away from her thoughts.

“Sorry” Dani said jumping back a little and blinking a few times as she tried to rid her mind of the image of Jamie stood in her garden with her face in her shirt.

“You’re even more vacant than you were last night, what’s going on?” Eddie said as he continued to eat his dinner.

“Oh, sorry, nothing. I’ve got a headache is all, I've had it since yesterday evening” Dani said nervously as she hoped that her husband wasn’t some sort of mind reader and could see the very inappropriate thoughts that she was having about the landscaper that he had hired.

“What’s the landscaper like?” Eddie asked, repeating the question that he had asked Dani before when she was staring blankly into space in front of him.

“The, the landscaper? Fine, yeah, good. Why’d you ask?” Dani said with wide eyes as she wondered if Eddie could actually read her mind.

“Just wanted to know. I saw his plans for the garden before on the side, they look good” Eddie said as he motioned in the direction of the plans with his head.

“She” Dani corrected as she turned to look in the direction of the plans that she had drawn and given to Jamie.

“She?” Eddie questioned with a raise of his eyebrow.

“Yeah, her name’s Jamie. She seems, erm, very… capable” Dani said as she continued eating her dinner which she had stopped doing in favour of thinking about Jamie.

“A woman landscaper” Eddie said as he raised his eyebrow again, “Well, as long as she’s good”.

Dani just nodded lightly and continued her dinner as her mind drifted back to thoughts of Jamie and what she might be wearing tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 3 is up! sorry, it was meant to be uploaded a little earlier but I got sidetracked by the moonflower blooming 🙈 hope you enjoy!!

The rest of the week went as expected. Jamie showed up at 9:30am every morning in some combination of very short shorts and extra short t-shirts and Dani, dressed in a variety of sundresses that had once been banished to the back of her wardrobe because Eddie didn’t like her in them, made her a coffee and then they would go their separate ways until lunchtime. Dani would try and occupy herself until 11:30am when she would stick her head out of the back door and ask Jamie what she would like for lunch. Jamie would always say ‘Whatever you are having is fine, thank you’ but as the days passed, Dani had started to figure out what Jamie enjoyed and what she didn’t, so she made her meals to accommodate Jamie’s tastes. Jamie would always leave her tomatoes if Dani made her a salad and Jamie had politely declined a tuna salad saying that she hated fish. Dani had discovered that Jamie was a big fan of cheese so often every meal that she made her contained it in some shape or form and Dani had discovered that no matter what was on the plate, Jamie always ate her vegetables first.

“So,” Dani said as she watched Jamie take a mouthful of a chicken sandwich that she had made her, “Was your offer about showing me the sights of London serious or not?”.

“Why’d ya ask?” Jamie asked smirking a little as she raised her eyebrow.

Dani just shrugged lightly as she took a bite of her own sandwich, “I’m bored of just sitting in the house all day and Eddie’s going out with his new work friends tomorrow, so I’d be on my own with nothing to do. I just wondered if you wanted to maybe, go somewhere? It’s totally fine if not, I know you have your own life and you probably don’t wanna be showing a lonely American around on your days off”.

Jamie placed her hand on Dani’s knee as she said softly, “I’d love to show ya the sights of London, Poppins”.

Dani just giggled as a light blush filled her cheeks at the sensation of Jamie’s hand on her knee. Although there was a layer of fabric separating their skin, she could feel how cold Jamie’s hand was and it was a welcomed sensation on her warm skin. Dani had noticed that although the weather was always warm outside, every time Jamie’s hand accidentally brushed against her skin, it was always cold. Jamie could have been working all day and have built up a sweat, but her hands were always cold to touch.

“Really?” Dani asked shyly as a small smile appeared on her lips.

“Yeah, got nowt to do tomorrow anyway. Plus, I gotta find some way to pay ya back for all the food you keep giving me” Jamie said chuckling before taking another bite of her sandwich.

Dani just giggled softly as she took a bite of her own sandwich too and then let a comfortable silence fall over them. Dani marvelled in how easy it was to be around Jamie. They had only known each other for 5 days yet Jamie felt so familiar to her. From the moment she had met her, Dani had felt so comfortable around Jamie and had felt like they had already met each other before. Although her cheeks flushed and her heart raced every time that she looked at Jamie, the nerves she felt weren’t scary or uncomfortable, they were exhilarating. As much as Dani didn’t want to show Jamie how much her actions made her feel or want her to see the heavy blush that settled on her cheeks every time they accidentally touched, she couldn’t help but look at her and be around her. It was almost like her body craved Jamie’s presence and the thought of not seeing her for 2 days made her feel so deflated and lost, so she was glad that Jamie had agreed to spend some time with her on Saturday.

____

As promised, there was an all too familiar knock on her door at 10am and Dani smoothed her hands over her dress and took a deep breath before she opened it.

Once again Dani hadn't slept very well as her mind had been racing with thoughts of Jamie. At first Dani was excited about their day out the next day but as the hours passed and her mind raced, she couldn’t help but work herself up. There was hardly any anxiety present when her head had first hit the pillow at 10pm but as midnight had come and gone, her anxiety had only grown. What was she doing? She had hired Jamie to work for her and complete a job, not go sightseeing around a city she hardly knew. That was inappropriate in itself, but the way Jamie made her feel, that was an entirely new level of inappropriateness. Dani couldn’t deny that she liked Jamie, but she didn’t know exactly what the feeling was but surely it wasn’t normal to dream about her whilst laid next to your husband in bed. Dani couldn’t help but feel as though she was crossing a massive line. 

Jamie was a great woman, and with the way Dani had caught her eyeing her up and biting her lip on more than one occasion, it was clear that she had some sort of attraction towards Dani and the way that Dani couldn’t stop thinking about running her fingers along Jamie’s tattoo on her side, the feeling was mutual. However, Dani was married. That was it. Dani had told herself that she only wanted to meet up with Jamie as she was becoming a friend and if she was honest, she needed one. Being stuck in her new house for 4 weeks unpacking, decorating and cleaning had taken its tole on Dani and she needed to start to venture out into this new world that she found herself in. However, she couldn’t help but think about how she had never been this excited to spend time with another person before.

“Mornin’ Poppins, ready for your big adventure?” Jamie asked as she stood on the bottom step outside of Dani’s front door.

All the nerves and confusing thoughts vanished as soon as Dani laid eyes on the young brunette stood leaning all her weight on one foot outside her door. As soon as bright blue and dark green eyes met, there was nothing but excitement and anticipation swirling around in Dani’s stomach.

“Sure am” Dani said smiling widely as she reached for her bag on the side then shut the door behind her.

“Where d’ya wanna go then, Poppins?” Jamie asked after Dani had gotten comfy in the passenger seat of her truck and put her seatbelt on.

“Wherever you recommend” Dani said smiling softly at Jamie who had turned in her seat to face her.

“There’s a few places I have in mind but is there anywhere in particular that you wanna go first? There must have been somewhere you wanted to visit when you knew that you were moving to London” Jamie asked as she tapped her finger along to the quiet music playing in the car.

Dani’s eyebrows knitted a little as she thought about Jamie’s question and then she said, “No, not really. I didn’t really look at anywhere to visit, it was all pretty short notice. I just knew we were moving to London, I didn’t give much thought to what I might want to visit when I move there”.

Jamie just nodded and gave Dani a reassuring smile, “No problem, Poppins. We can visit the city if ya want? Bet you Americans are a sucker for things like the London Eye and Buckingham Palace”.

Dani just laughed softly and bowed her head a little, “I mean I have always wanted to visit Buckingham Palace ever since I was a little girl. Sorry if that’s lame”.

“It’s not lame at all” Jamie said as she placed her hand on Dani’s knee, “You’re American, it’s what you do when you visit England. Even I visited it when I first moved here, but don’t tell anyone though, it might ruin my reputation a little”.

Dani just laughed at Jamie’s comment then placed her hand gently on top of Jamie’s. “Thanks for doing this, I know you could be doing more exciting things with your Saturday but I’m really looking forward to it” Dani said sincerely as she lightly squeezed Jamie’s hand.

“No problem, Poppins. And I'm looking forward to it too” Jamie said as she squeezed Dani’s knee then placed her hand back on her steering wheel and started the engine. “Buckingham Palace here we come”.

The morning passed in no time. Dani and Jamie wondered around the streets of London from tourist attraction to tourist attraction. Although Jamie did everything humanly possible to avoid the tourist traps around the city, she hadn't complained once about the overcrowding or the overpriced drinks or the long queues. The smile on Dani’s face had made up for pushing through the crowds at Buckingham Palace so that she could take Dani’s picture outside of the gates and that she paid £6 for an ice creme. Dani was seemingly having the time of her life, and her wide toothy grin never seemed to leave her face. 

“So, what’s next?” Dani asked as she took a sip of her water.

Jamie had taken Dani to her friend’s café in town so that they could have lunch. Owen, Jamie’s friend who owned the café had very kindly given them lunch for free even though Dani had insisted at least 10 times that she would pay.

“There’s a garden nearby that we could check out if ya want? It’s pretty nice, but I get it if gardens aren’t your thing” Jamie said before she took a sip of her cup of tea.

“No, I’d love to go. I mean I have no idea about plants and stuff, but I would like to learn. Every plant that I’ve ever had I’ve always killed it” Dani said laughing as her mind flashed back to the plant Eddie’s Mom had bought her when they had first moved into their house together in Iowa and by the time Judy had come to visit her a week later, it had already died.

“Well, Poppins, that all stops now. As long as I know you, you will never kill another plant, I will make sure of it” Jamie said smiling widely as she leant back in her chair and rested her leg against Dani’s underneath the table.

Luckily for Dani, her long summer dress covered her leg so Jamie’s bare skin, exposed by another pair of extremely short shorts, didn’t touch her own skin but the weight of it alone caused Dani’s mind to go a little foggy and the only thing that she could think about was Jamie’s leg touching hers.

They finished their lunch in relative silence except for a few comments about the weather and the days adventures so far. Jamie’s leg stayed rested lightly against Dani’s for the remainder of the meal until Jamie got up to go to the bathroom just before they left. The sudden removal of Jamie’s weight against her caused Dani to frown as she instantly craved the feeling again. 

“How do you know so much about plants?” Dani asked as she followed Jamie around the gardens listening to everything that she had to say.

As soon as they walked through the gates of the gardens, Jamie began pointing out different kinds of plants and telling Dani all about them. Dani tried her best to absorb everything that Jamie was telling her just in case she needed the knowledge in the future. From the way that Jamie was leading her around the gardens, Dani felt that Jamie was at home. It was like Jamie had walked these grounds thousands of times before and Dani wasn’t sure if she had or not or if Jamie always walked with such confidence and self-assuredness in nature.

“Mostly just learnt on the job” Jamie replied, “And took a few courses and read a few books but it comes quite naturally to me I think”.  
Dani just smiled softly and nodded. It did appear that this all came naturally to Jamie, like she had some sort of secret recipe to keeping plants alive that Dani wished she had herself, if only just to use to impress Jamie.

“What’s your favourite flower?” Jamie asked as they continued walking down the winding paths of the gardens. 

Dani and Jamie were walking closely side by side and the desire to just reach out and hold Jamie’s hand was far stronger than Dani would have liked.

“Erm,” Dani said whilst she thought about the question, “I don’t really know”.

“Oh, come on” Jamie said, nudging Dani with her elbow playfully, “You must have a favourite flower. Or at least one you like, if you don’t wanna tell me your favourite”.

“I really don’t have a favourite flower” Dani said giggling as she playfully pushed Jamie back, “And if I did, I would tell you and ask you for tips on how to keep them alive longer than a day or two”.

“You really don’t have a favourite flower then, Poppins?” Jamie asked seriously as she put her hands back into her jacket pockets.

The weather had turned a little colder, so Jamie had found a jacket in the back seat of her car and put it on over the very little clothing that she was wearing. She had first offered it to Dani before putting it on herself as Dani had declined the offer, insisting that she wasn’t cold.

“No, not really. I’ve never given it much thought before if I'm being honest” Dani said as she was still contemplating the question.

“What does your husband buy you for anniversaries and stuff then?” Jamie asked as she kicked a few stones around on the ground in front of her.

“He, erm, Eddie just buys me sunflowers. They're his favourite so he just buys me them” Dani said as she watched Jamie’s boots scuff the ground.

“Sunflowers, huh? Bold choice” Jamie said as she looked back up at Dani.

“Yeah, they really light up the room though” Dani said smiling softly as she pictured a bunch of sunflowers on their old kitchen table back in Iowa.

“They sure do” Jamie said quietly. 

Although she had brought up the topic of Dani’s husband, she cursed herself that she did. Jamie tried her best to forget about him all together, but she couldn’t ignore his existence as he was an integral part of Dani’s life. Jamie had caught the not-so-obvious as well as the extremely obvious checking of her out by Dani over the past week and she couldn’t help but think that Dani liked her. There was no other explanation for her constant blushing, nervous giggles and obvious staring when Jamie was around, but Dani was married. Dani had a wonderful life with a husband and a house and a job that she loved so where in that image was Jamie? As much as Jamie was starting grow fond of the nervous, shy and extremely endearing young woman, she knew that she didn’t have a place in her world. Whatever game Dani was playing, Jamie was falling harder than she had anticipated on doing and she knew that it would all end in tears, mainly on her part, but there was just something about Dani that seemed to be worth the possible pain. This was enough for Jamie if it was enough for Dani: friends, just friends. Friends with an overwhelming desire for more, but friends would do.

“Here, down here” Jamie said as she took hold of Dani’s hand and led her down what looked like a very vague path through a bunch of trees. The path stood out enough to Dani who was being led down it, but to the average person walking through the gardens, they would never have known it was there.

“Where are you taking me?” Dani giggled nervously which was a sound that Jamie had grown quite fond of over the past week.

“You’ll see” Jamie said softly as she carried on leading Dani down the winding path.

All Dani could focus on was Jamie’s cold hand holding hers. This was the first time that Jamie had held her hand and she knew that it didn’t mean anything other than to help lead her down this very secluded path in the middle of a small forest of trees, but she couldn’t help the butterflies going wild in her stomach. 

“Here” Jamie said as she stood in front of what looked like a bunch of vines covering a fence.

Dani just furrowed her brow as she stared at the less than impressive plant in front of her. “I’m no plant expert but, what is it?” Dani asked as she looked over to Jamie who was stood in the clearing still holding onto her hand.

“Moonflowers” Jamie stated proudly as she stared at the plant in front of them.

“Moonflowers?” Dani asked as she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to recognise the name or not.

“Yeah, I know they don’t look impressive right now but once the sun goes down, they are the most beautiful things I've ever seen” Jamie stated as she let go of Dani’s hand and walked closer to the plant.

“So, they bloom at night?” Dani asked, hoping that she had understood what Jamie had said.

“Yeah, and for one night only too. Then they die and I have to plant a whole new one the following year” Jamie said as she turned back to look at Dani.

“You have to plant them?” Dani asked, confused as to why Jamie was going around public gardens and planting flowers herself.

“I used to work here” Jamie said as she offered Dani a small smile to try and ease her confusion, “First job I had when I moved here. I wanted to get into gardening, and they gave me a chance. Pretty fucking grateful for them doing so too. Didn’t have much experience when I first got here but they let me try. Worked god damn hard to prove to them that they made the right decision. These moonflowers were my little personal project and ever since I left here, they’ve always let me come back and plant a new one. No one else can grow them and this is the only place that I’ve been able to do so, so I like to keep it up y’know?”.

“Seems like a lot of effort” Dani said as she tried to process all the new information that she had learnt about Jamie from just a few sentences.

“It is” Jamie stated simply, “But it’s worth it”.

Dani smiled widely as Jamie turned back to face her with pride in her eyes.

“I’ll show you sometime if you want. They won't bloom just yet, probably in the next week or so, but they will be worth the wait, I promise” Jamie said as she walked back over to Dani who was still stood in the same spot that Jamie had left her in.

“I’d like that very much” Dani said offering Jamie a kind sincere smile.

“Well, I’ll let you know when they are ready to bloom then” Jamie said as she started to walk back down the path that had led them to the moonflowers.

“Have you got any more secret sports that you can show me?” Dani asked as she followed quickly behind Jamie as not to lose her in the undergrowth.

“Course I have, Poppins, come on” Jamie said cheerfully as she picked up her pace and hoped that Dani would follow suit.

“Oh wow” Dani said on awe as she followed Jamie through some more trees and then out into a small, concealed part of the gardens.

As Dani emerged from the trees, she was met with a small waterfall that led down into a small stream which disappeared through the trees which they had just walked through and a single willow tree stood near it, providing a little shade in the hot summer sun.

“It’s beautiful” Dani whispered as she followed Jamie out into the light of the sun.

“Hardly anyone knows about this corner of the garden, except for the people who work here, or used to work her in my case” Jamie said chuckling as she walked over to the stream.

“Why did you leave?” Dani asked as she split off from Jamie a little to look around the small corner of the garden by herself, “You seem to have really enjoyed your time here so why’d you leave?”.

“Wanted to start my own business. Pay wasn’t great here since I didn’t have much experience and I’ve always wanted to start my own business so, I just went for it” Jamie said as she turned back around to look at Dani who was wondering over to the willow tree.

“Wait, The Leafling is your business?” Dani asked as she turned to face Jamie who was walking over to her.

“Yep, all mine” Jamie said with a proud twinkle in her eye.

“Sorry, I just assumed that you work for them” Dani said with an apologetic smile, “I really like the name, did you come up with it yourself?”.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it, Poppins” Jamie said as she bent down and began laying her jacket down on the floor under the shade of the willow tree, “And yeah, the names all mine. Glad you like it”.

Jamie then sat down on one side of her jacket and patted the space next to her for Dani to do the same which she did happily. The grass wasn’t wet or even damp, as it hadn't rained in over a week so they could have easily just sat on the grass itself, but Dani liked the gesture of the jacket which now doubled as a blanket.

“Why The Leafling though?” Dani asked once she had taken a seat.

“That’s the best part right, of gardening?” Jamie said as she laid back on the grass and rested her hands on her stomach, “You put in all this work and all this effort to create a garden or grow a plant and it might seem tiring or like too much hard work but then the leafling happens, and the flowers start to bloom and then you realise that it was all worth the effort in the end”.

Dani thought about what Jamie had said for a moment and realised that it actually made a lot of sense. In a way she felt much like building her life was like creating a garden. She had put all this effort into it, effort into her relationship with Eddie over the many years that they had been together, effort into her education so that she could get a good job in the future and she had put a lot of effort into saving money and purchasing a house, but she hadn't seen much reward as of yet. She still felt like the same little girl she had been when Eddie first knocked on her front door all those years ago. She hadn't felt like much had changed except that she had grown taller, gotten older and taken on more responsibilities but apart from that, she was still the little timid girl whose life had been mapped out for her. However, here with Jamie, sat under a willow tree in a secluded corner of a huge garden in the middle of London, she felt like she was finally getting the see the leafling.

“But you don’t get to see the reward” Dani said softly as she copied Jamie’s actions and laid back on the grass, “You create the garden and then you leave”.

“But I know someone else is enjoying it and that’s a good enough reward for me. The gardens I help create will last a lifetime if the customer wants them too and that’s good enough for me. I don’t have to see the leafling to know it’s happening and to know that someone else gets to enjoy it” Jamie said as she stared up at the bright blue sky above them, “Plus, I have my own little projects that give me the rewards, like those moonflowers. I don’t need to see every opening of every flower that I’ve planted to know that it’s worth the effort”.

Dani just laid on the grass as she watched Jamie talk and she tried to relate what she was saying to her own life. Dani hadn't thought that she had reaped much reward from her creating of a life, but she was wrong. Being a teacher is everything that she had ever dreamed of and it was her chance to escape for a few hours each day. When she was teaching it didn’t feel like a job to her, it just felt like a passion. She loved watching her students faces change from confusion into understanding once she had helped them figure something out and she realised that that was her reward in life. She put so much time and effort into planning lessons and creating fun and engaging tasks for her students, but it was all worth it when they learnt something new that day or had just enjoyed their day at school. And she realised that she didn’t need to see her students blooming to know that it was happening and for her to reap the reward. She would work so hard every year to help her class and then they would just move on to the next teacher the year after and she would hardly see them again or see the progress they were making, but she knew that it would be happening because she had helped them learn vital information that they would need in the future. 

But outside of her job, Dani really couldn’t think of a reward other than Jamie. She had put time and effort into getting to know her over the past week and maybe this was her reward, being able to lay in the sun next to her and listen as she opened up a little to her.

However, Dani couldn’t help but wonder did Jamie have someone in her life, who wasn’t just a plant, who gave her a reward for the time and effort that she put into them.

“What about outside of work?” Dani questioned as she turned her head to look at Jamie who was still staring up at the sky.

“What do you mean?” Jamie asked as she furrowed her brow in slight confusion as she turned to face Dani.

“The only examples you gave were plants” Dani explained, “Just wondered if you have someone in your life who you put effort into and get to see them bloom?”.

Jamie’s lips turned into a small smirk then her expression turned serious, “Can't say that I have really, not until very recently anyway. I’ve never really been the one to do that with people, they only let you down”.

Dani’s heart sank for two reasons whilst Jamie spoke; she realised that Jamie did in fact have someone special in her life and that Jamie had clearly been hurt in the past to not let anyone in again.

“What makes this person special then?” Dani asked, knowing that she would regret asking the question as she really didn’t want to know who this special person was in Jamie’s life, but she was curious and hoped that one day, she might be added to the list.

“I dunno” Jamie said honestly as she turned to look back up at the sky, “She just seems worth the effort. Her situation may not be ideal, but I hope that we can have some sort of relationship in the future, even if it’s just friendship. She seems like she needs to bloom, and I would like to be there for her when she does”.

For a second Dani wondered if Jamie was talking about her but she wasn’t sure. Yes, she had a less than ideal situation for what she knew the type of relationship Jamie probably wanted with her and she did in fact need to bloom but how did Jamie know that? Dani hadn't told Jamie too much about her life and how she didn’t exactly feel like it was the right one for her but maybe Jamie had just sensed it from her. She didn’t exactly boast about how much she loved her life or her husband so maybe Jamie had just put two and two together or maybe Jamie was just talking about someone else.

“She seems special” Dani whispered as she looked back up at the sky.

“She is” Jamie said quietly as she let her hand that was closest to Dani, drop beside her with the palm facing upwards. It was a simple gesture, inviting but without any pressure to follow through. It signalled that she was open if Dani wanted to be too.

The small gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Dani as a comfortable silence fell over the pair laid side by side on Jamie’s jacket. Dani replayed what Jamie had said over and over about the leafling and the flowering and aside from her students, Dani hadn't had much reward in her personal life, so she decided that it was about time that she had some after all the effort she had put in. Jamie had opened up to her, so it was time she gave a little back. After a slow, long intake of fresh summer air which was laced with Jamie’s intoxicating perfume, Dani lifted her hand from her side and delicately placed it on top of Jamie’s next to her.

Jamie tensed a little as the sudden action had taken her a little by surprise, but she soon relaxed into the touch and intertwined her fingers with Dani’s.

“The leafling” Dani whispered, only audible to herself and Jamie as she realised that this was what blooming felt like.


	4. Chapter 4

Saturday night and all of Sunday were filled with thoughts of Jamie. No matter what Dani did to try and occupy herself until Monday morning, her mind always trailed back to Jamie. The way Jamie smiled kindly when she offered her jacket to her, the way Jamie had handed her her ice cream with a playful smirk on her lips as she pressed it against Dani’s nose and left a blob of cool chocolate ice cream on the tip and the way that it had felt to hold Jamie’s hand. 

Dani couldn’t help but wonder why everything felt so right with Jamie. They never struggled with conversion, there were never any awkward silences between them, and Dani had never felt so relaxed around anyone before. She was a nervous person by nature so every encounter with someone always felt a little awkward and weird but not with Jamie. Jamie seemed to be the only exception. 

Dani fiddled with the tiny keyring that Jamie had bought her at the gardens she had taken her to that was now dangling on her house keys. Dani had insisted that she give Jamie the money for it, but Jamie just chuckled as shook her head. She had purposefully bought the keyring when Dani had gone to the bathroom and had given it to her once she dropped her back off at her house, so Dani had less opportunity to insist on paying her back.

“It’s fine, Poppins” Jamie said as she waved her hand dismissively in the air, “You can pay me back some other way if you want to, but I’m not taking your money, it’s a gift”.

Dani played Jamie words over and over in her mind as she sat in the pub the next day with Eddie whilst she fiddled with the keyring. It was just a simple willow tree with the name of the gardens written underneath it, but Dani couldn’t help but wonder if Jamie had chosen it specifically because that’s the type of tree that they had laid underneath together for the rest of that afternoon whilst holding hands. Neither of them had wanted to move and neither of them had made the effort to do so, even once the sun had started to set so they had just laid there talking until it got dark.

“Danielle?” Eddie asked as he waved his hand in front of his wife’s face to try and catch her attention and it seemed to work because Dani was reluctantly pulled from her thoughts as she looked up from the keyring and to him.

“Sorry” Dani said as she shook her head softly from side to side trying to get rid of her thoughts about Jamie so that she could focus on the conversation that Eddie was trying to have with her.

“Where do you keep going?” Eddie asked as he reached for his pint of beer to take a sip.

Eddie had suggested going for Sunday lunch together at the pub down the road from them as they had never tried a traditional English Sunday lunch before, and he thought that it would be nice to spend the day together since he had been out all of the day before. Dani had agreed even though she didn’t necessarily want to go but she thought that it might be nice to spend some time with Eddie since she had barely seen him all week as he had been so busy with work.

“I know, I’m sorry. I was just thinking about all the stuff that needs doing to the house” Dani said although she knew that it was a poor excuse. Their house was almost finished, except for the garden and nothing really needed doing inside and Eddie was bound to question her comment.

“The house is finished, Danielle” Eddie said as he took another sip of his drink, “What else needs doing?”.

“Oh, I, erm, I was just thinking about buying some new towels and kitchen stuff is all” Dani said, hoping that Eddie would lose interest like he always did when it came to decorating and buying furnishings, “I just think that we could do with some more cooking utensils and stuff like that, nothing too exciting”.

“Oh, okay, whatever you think” Eddie said as he went back to eating his lunch. Eddie hardly ever cooked as he left that up to Dani, so he never really had much of an opinion on cooking equipment and just let her buy what she needed and just as Dani had expected, he quickly lost interest in the topic.

“So, what did you do yesterday?” Eddie asked, never once taking his eyes off his plate.

Dani froze for a second. She hadn't anticipated Eddie asking her what she had done yesterday as he hadn't asked her last night, even though she had a quick answer prepared but since they were sat face to face eating a meal, she knew that a quick throwaway answer wouldn’t be sufficient anymore. “I, erm, I just went out with a friend to the city to have a look around” Dani said quickly, hoping that Eddie wouldn’t ask too many questions.

“A friend? What friend? You don’t have any friends here yet” Eddie questioned as he continued eating his meal.

“Oh, she was just someone who works at the school I’ll be starting at in September, so more like a work college really” Dani said hoping to give as few details as possible. She hated lying to anyone, let alone her husband but she thought it would be a little weird to say that she had gone sightseeing with the women who they had hired to create their new garden.

“Oh, that was kind of her to show you around” Eddie said smiling genuinely as he looked up from his plate and at Dani. He then put his fork down and took hold of her hand and said, “I know you’re struggling but it won't be as hard once you start your job, Danielle, I promise. But I’m glad that you’re getting out there and making new friends, you’ll fit in just great here, I know you will”.

Dani couldn’t help the single tear that fell from her eye at Eddie’s words. For some reason he always seemed to know exactly what to say to her to make her feel better. It was probably because they had known each other for the majority of their lives and although Dani hadn't openly said that she was struggling to find her feet in this brand-new country, Eddie had seemed to sense it. Although Eddie didn’t make her heart skip a beat every time that she saw him or make her stomach fill with pure excitement and desire, she felt safe with him and she knew that he loved her and cared a lot for her.

“I know” Dani said softly as she quickly wiped away the tear from her cheek and squeezed Eddie’s hand, “I know”.

Monday morning slowly came around and when Jamie’s all too familiar knock on the door rang through the house, Dani, who was already stood behind it, waited a few seconds before opening it with a bright smiled plastered on her face. However, her smile faltered a little when she was met with Jamie and a tall, quite handsome young man stood behind her.

“Mornin’ Poppins” Jamie said without skipping a beat as she climbed the three steps into Dani’s house followed by the man who was looking her up and down but not in a weird way, just more like he was trying to observe her.

Dani wrapped her arms around her front, slightly self-conscious in the presence of this stranger who was yet to be introduced to her.

“Oh, this is my brother, Mikey” Jamie said as she saw Dani’s furrowed eyebrows and timid stance. Jamie had never really seen Dani look so nervous before. Sure, Dani had been nervous around her, but it was a fun kind of nervous, an exhilarating kind of nervous but this kind of nervous Dani was feeling now broke Jamie’s heart a little as she watched the usually fun and flirty blonde turn inwards and wrap her arms around her stomach. “He’s come to give me a hand with the decking like we discussed” Jamie said as she smiled reassuringly at Dani, “He’s a bit of a prat but overall, he’s a pretty decent lad”.

“Hey!” Mikey said as he looked up at Jamie and frowned as he copied her actions of taking her boots off and carrying them into the kitchen to place by the back door.

“Oh, yes, sorry, I-I totally forgot” Dani said as she watched the pair interact, “Hey, it’s-it’s nice to meet you, Mikey”.

“Nice to meet you too” Mikey said as he held out his hand that wasn’t holding his boots which Dani took and shook gently, “Promise we’ll do a good job of your decking”.

Dani just laughed softly as she let go of Mikey’s hands and followed him and Jamie into the kitchen. Jamie’s reassuring smile and Mikey’s easy-going nature put Dani right at ease and sure enough she released her arms wrapped around her waist and straightened her posture as she walked into the kitchen.

“Can I get you anything to drink before you start work, Mikey?” Dani asked as she handed the already made coffee to Jamie that she always made a few minutes before Jamie would arrive.

“Erm, just a glass of water will do, thanks” Mikey replied as he closely watched his sister smile widely as she took the mug from Dani’s hands. “You always have a cup of coffee ready and waiting each morning?” Mikey asked Jamie as he watched her take a sip.

Jamie just nodded as she took another sip of the coffee which was just at the right temperature.

Mikey nodded and smirked a little before he smiled gratefully at Dani who handed him a glass of cool water with a slice of lemon in it.

“You don’t even like coffee” Mikey said as he turned back to look at Jamie.

“Shut up” Jamie whispered, the annoyance clear in her voice.

“Wait” Dani said as she turned around, “You don’t like coffee?”.

“I do” Jamie protested as she took another sip of the beverage to prove her point.

“If you don’t like it, you could have just said so. You don’t have to drink the full cup every morning” Dani chuckled as she shook her head lightly.

“I like it” Jamie said as she tried desperately to prove to Dani that she did like her coffee, even if it was a little bit of a white lie. Jamie didn’t like coffee very much anyway and Dani’s wasn’t the best in the world, but she appreciated the gesture and enjoyed the 5 or so minutes that the beverage allowed her to talk to Dani every morning before she had to get to work.

“Okay” Dani said giggling as she clearly didn’t believe what Jamie had told her, “Whatever you say”.

Jamie and Mikey finished their drinks over light conversation with Dani before they got to work. The more Dani looked at Mikey, the more of Jamie that she could see in him. At first when Jamie had told her Mikey was her brother, Dani didn’t really see the resemblance beyond the wild brown curls that sat on top of their heads but the more she talked to him, the more Dani could see the relation. Mikey talked exactly like Jamie and even had a very similar smirk to her, and Dani guessed, given that Mikey clearly looked a good few years younger than Jamie, that it was probably because Mikey had looked up to her and copied her when they were younger. 

Dani did her usual cleaning and reorganising to occupy herself whilst Jamie and Mikey worked and once 11:30am came around Dani found herself stood by the back door asking the pair what they would like to eat.

Mikey furrowed his eyebrows at the question probably because Jamie hadn't mentioned that Dani made her lunch every day, but Mikey went along with it anyway.

As Dani was wondering around the kitchen happily preparing three halloumi salads instead of two, she could hear Jamie and Mikey’s conversation through the open door and windows.

“She makes ya dinner every day?” Mikey asked as he held a piece of wood in place whilst Jamie used a nail gun to secure it.

“Yeah” Jamie replied, not looking up at her brother.

“Really? Every single day?” Mikey asked with a knowing smirk on his face.

“Yeah, and what of it?” Jamie asked, slight annoyance evident in her voice.

“Nothing” Mikey said smirking as he picked up another piece of wood and he and Jamie repeated their previous actions.

“Stop looking at me like that” Jamie said, although Dani hadn't seen her raise her eyes once to look up at Mikey.

“Like what?” Mikey teased.

“Like that” Jamie responded as she straightened her posture to look at him and placed her hands on her hips.

Mikey just chuckled as he picked up another piece of wood. “Do you like her?” he asked as he held the piece in place whilst Jamie secured it.

Jamie just huffed a little and let a few moments of silence pass before she quietly said, “Yeah, I do”.

Dani bowed her head shyly as a heavy blush rose from her chest up to occupy her cheeks even though no one was in the room with her and her heart skipped a few beats as she processed Jamie’s words. She knew that Jamie liked her but to hear her say it out loud, even if it wasn’t to her sent the butterflies in her stomach wild.

Mikey flashed his sister a genuine smile as he went to pick up another piece of decking. “I’m happy for ya, Jay” Mikey said softly as he put the wood in place.

Jamie just huffed as she rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious, Jay” Mikey said as he stopped what he was doing so that he could give his sister his full undivided attention, “You’ve never had a girlfriend before, at least not one that I've known about so I’m glad you’re putting yourself out there, you deserve some happiness. I know you don’t let just anyone in, and she clearly likes you too so, I’m happy for ya, sis, she seems really great”.

Jamie let a moment of silence pass as she took in Mikey’s words. She then took a seat on the half completed decking and said, “She’s married”.

Dani’s heard sank to a depth that she doesn’t think that it had reached before when she heard to tone of voice Jamie had spoken in. She knew that her situation wasn’t ideal but the more she gotten to know Jamie, the more she was coming to the conclusion that maybe the life that she had built for herself wasn’t the one that she wanted. It was quickly becoming clear that what she felt for Jamie was the way that she should have felt about Eddie. She loved Eddie, she really did, he was her best friend but maybe that was the issue. There was no longing with Eddie, no intense desire, not in the way she felt for Jamie. The only desire Dani felt for Eddie was the desire to love him in the way that he loved her, but she had known him for 20 years and that passion just wasn’t there, and Dani was quickly realising that it would never be. She would never be able to love Eddie in the way that he deserved and the way that he loved her because she loved Jamie and not just Jamie, but women in general. For years her heart had skipped beats and she had spent long nights dreaming about women who had flashed her a flirty smile in the grocery store, or the mall and she had denied it and denied it for so long because she had never really found someone who was worth the effort of just abandoning the life that she had worked so hard to build but then Jamie had knocked on her door and turned her world upside down.

A small silence fell over Jamie and Mikey before a small and disappointed, “Oh”, left Mikey’s mouth as he took a seat next to his sister. “I’m sorry” Mikey whispered as draped his arm over Jamie’s shoulder. They weren’t a family who were affectionate towards each other, but Mikey sensed that Jamie might need the extra comfort in that moment.

“It’s fine” Jamie brushed off as she put a fake smile on her face, “Happens I suppose”.

“Don’t think that stuff like that happens every day, Jay” Mikey said, chuckling softly in hopes of lightening the mood a little.

“Yeah” Jamie chuckled as a small smiled crossed her lips for a brief second.

“But she likes you, right? Well, she seems to. Wished someone would look at me the way she looks at you” Mikey said as he pulled Jamie into his side which she quickly pulled out of again.

“I don’t know” Jamie sighed as she laid back on the decking and ran her hands through her hair, “What if she’s playing some sort of game, huh? What if this is what she does for fun, plays with the damaged landscaper’s heart for a week or two then moves on to her next victim and leaves me even more fucked up than I was when she met me?”.

“Jamie” Mikey said as he laid down beside her, “She’s not playing a game. The way she looks at you, Jay, that’s not a game. Trust me I’ve played a few games in my time and I never looked at someone like that, she likes you. Really likes you”. 

Jamie let out a loud laugh as she turned to face Mikey, “’Played a few games in my time’, Mikey your fucking 15. The only games that you should be playing are football or something”.

“I’m not 15, Jamie, I'm 20 and anyway that doesn’t matter. So what if she’s married, people get divorced. Jamie, you’ve got to start letting people in, especially if they look at you like she looks at you. And she clearly seems to care about you. How many people do you think she makes dinner for every day, huh? Or has coffee ready and waiting for them in the morning?”.

Jamie just let out a long sigh before standing up and going to get another piece of wood. “I’ll think about it” Jamie said as she passed the wood to Mikey to hold in place.

“That’s all I ask” Mikey replied with a small smile.

“Lunch is ready guys” Dani said as she popped her head out of the back door with a bright smile on her face which caused Jamie and Mikey to both quickly spin around to look at her.

Originally when Jamie showed up at her door that morning with an unknown man, the first thing that Dani had thought was that she wouldn’t be able to spend her usually 30 minutes with Jamie during her lunch break but when Mikey asked if Dani wanted to join them, her face lit up in surprise and excitement. 

The conversation flowed easily as she got to know Mikey a little better as well as Jamie. Mikey recalled embarrassing childhood stories whilst Dani laughed, and Jamie blushed heavily. Dani had never seen Jamie blush before, and the deep red looked good on her as she bite her lip and held her head in her hands. Over the course of the conversation, Dani learnt that Jamie and Mikey had been in foster care together most of their lives, that Jamie had moved to London once she got out of the system but stayed in regular contact with her brother until he got out too and moved in with her and that Mikey was Jamie’s first employee after she had started her landscaping business.

Dani really enjoyed the lunch break, and she couldn’t remember if she had ever felt more comfortably around two people before in her life. Although she had only known Mikey for a few hours, he was just as laid back as his sister and he had made her feel so relaxed that the conversation just flowed naturally.

“Hey, I really enjoyed today” Dani said sincerely as she stopped Jamie in the hallway just before she went to follow Mikey out of the door and into her truck to leave for the day.

“Yeah” Jamie chuckled as she felt Dani take hold of her hand.

“I really liked meeting your brother, he seems like a really great guy” Dani said as she softly squeezed Jamie’s hand in her own.

“Yeah, he really is. And lucky for you he’s coming back again tomorrow to help me finish off the decking” Jamie said as she laughed softly.

Dani just smiled widely as she stared into Jamie’s dark green eyes, “So, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”.

“You sure will, Poppins” Jamie said as she squeezed Dani’s hand and then let it go as she turned to leave the house.

“And” Dani said in a voice that was a little too loud and a little too high-pitched. “I just wanted to let you know… I-I’m not playing a game or anything. I think, I-I just need to…” Dani said as she struggled to find the right words for what she wanted to say to Jamie to get her point across that she wasn’t trying to play with Jamie’s feelings and that she just needed to let herself truly be who she had spent so long trying to suppress.

“Blossom?” Jamie asked with a small, kind smile.

Dani let out a soft, relieved chuckle as she nodded her head, “Yeah”.

“Don’t worry, Poppins” Jamie said as she reached out to take hold of Dani’s hand to give it a reassuring squeeze, “All the best flowers take the longest time to bloom”.


	5. Chapter 5

Blossom. That’s what Dani needed to do, blossom. All her life she had tried so hard to just make everyone around her happy and suppress who she truly was but now she a chance to blossom and become the stunning, bright and colourful flower that she was always meant to be. All she needed to do was rid her garden of the weeds and litter and let someone water her, feed her and help her grow and Dani knew exactly who that someone was. The young brunette hadn't left her mind since the day that she had knocked on her door almost 2 weeks ago now and already in just a short amount of time, Dani had felt more like herself than she had done in her whole 28 years of life. She knew that Jamie would be the one to tend to her and support her and help her blossom, but it was the thought of clearing her garden of the things that inhibited that growth and blossom that had caused her to remain the woman she had spent her whole life being. 

To Dani, Eddie wasn’t a weed in her garden, he was her best friend but in the flower analogy that she had kept using, he was. Although he is her best friend and cares for her very deeply, he stops her from blossoming. It wasn’t his fault; he had been pushed into this life with her just as much as she had been pushed into it with him, but the difference was that he loved her. He genuinely loved her, and the problem was that Dani couldn’t feel it back, no matter how hard she had tried. Eddie had been her best friend ever since she could remember and she loved him in that way but romantically, it had always felt wrong and now she was starting to feel what she should have felt for him and it was addictive and exhilarating. 

Dani had always wanted to be around Eddie when they were younger and she would spend as much time as she could at his house but as they had gotten older and pushed into a relationship and then marriage, that had faded somewhat. She wanted to be around him still but not in the way that she longed to be around Jamie. Dani had spent one day without seeing Jamie and her body had ached for her. On the day after Jamie had taken her around the city, Dani had stood in her bedroom window and gazed down at where Jamie would always be in her garden, and her eyes had longed to just catch a glimpse of the extremely charming young woman. She had never felt that way about Eddie, not once. She missed his presence and company if he went away for the weekend for work, but she never longed to be around him, her body never ached for him back. 

Although Dani had known for some time that she wasn’t fulfilled in her life with Eddie, the idea of telling him that and ending things with him broke her. Eddie was the only thing that she had known and to just break up with him and live a life where he could quite possibly hate her, broke her heart but she knew that she needed to finally live her truth. She owed that to herself, didn’t she? To finally just be herself.

The week had flown by for Dani as every day she watched Jamie get closer and closer to finishing her garden. It was almost a bittersweet feeling when on the Friday Jamie had said that she probably only needed one or two days more in order to finish the project. Dani had thought about asking her if she could work on the front garden too, just to prolong her stay, but Dani knew that the tiny patch of grass wouldn’t keep Jamie for any longer than a day. Dani dreaded the day when she would have to go back to her boring normal everyday life and not get to see Jamie every morning and make her a cup of coffee and then talk to her for half an hour at lunch time, but she knew that this day would eventually come. She just hoped that they would be able to see each other outside of this arrangement that they had become so accustomed to.

“Oh,” Jamie said as she was leaving Dani’s house at the end of the second week, “Those moonflowers I showed ya last week, think some of ‘em will be opening tomorrow if ya fancy having a look”.

“Really?” Dani asked as she smiled widely at the thought of getting to spend some more time with Jamie over the weekend. She didn’t think that she could stand 2 full days of not seeing or even hearing the woman who occupied every thought in her mind.

“Yeah, I know they only bloom at night so if you’ve not got anything better to be doing on a Saturday night, I’d love if you could stop by for a peak. I usually spend most of the night there so if you want to pop by, just, erm, let me know” Jamie said, hoping that Dani couldn’t sense her desire to show her the flowers that meant so much to her. She knew that the likelihood of Dani being free on a Saturday night were small, but she thought that she would ask anyway, just to see.

“No, no, I’d love to have a look at them” Dani said enthusiastically. “And I really don’t mind spending all night there either. Eddie and his new work friends invited me to this new bar in town, but I really don’t fancy spending my Saturday night with a bunch of businessmen and their wives if I'm being honest” Dani said chuckling. She had been looking for an excuse not to go ever since Eddie had asked her. “I’d much rather see these extremely rare moonflowers bloom”.

“How do you know they’re rare?” Jamie asked with a small smirk on her face.

“I may have done a little research” Dani said giggling nervously as a slight blush filled her cheeks. They had clearly meant so much to Jamie, so Dani had taken it upon herself to do some research about them in hopes of showing Jamie just how much she cared about her.

“Poppins, you flirt” Jamie chuckled as she shook her head slightly in disbelief. No one had ever taken that much of an interest in what she was interested in before.

“What time do they bloom?” Dani asked as she fiddled nervously with the door handle.

“Think you might know what time they bloom since you’ve done all that research on ‘em, Poppins” Jamie said with a smirk.

“I do” Dani giggled as she realised that she had been caught out.

“Were you trying to ask me what time I’ll pick you up?” Jamie said as she unconsciously took her bottom lip between her teeth a little.

“Yeah” Dani whispered softly as another soft blush fell over her cheeks.

“6:30pm be okay for you?” Jamie asked as she flashed Dani a wide smile.

“6:30pm is perfect” Dani said as she matched Jamie’s smile.

“Well, see you tomorrow at 6:30 then, Mrs Clayton” Jamie said as she bowed her head a little before walking out the front door and into her truck.

That Saturday had passed by extremely slowly. Dani was sure that she had never experienced a Saturday go so painfully slow in all of her life. She had woken up at 8am after having a very inappropriate dream about Jamie and had to take a cold shower in order to erase the thoughts as best she could. She then spent the rest of the day cleaning and having a very uncomfortable hour on the phone with her Mum before making her and Eddie an early dinner. She then watched Eddie get dressed up and leave the house just before Jamie’s signature knock rang through her house. Dani had already gotten ready a few hours earlier in order to pass some of the time so by the time Jamie arrived she was already stood behind the door ready and waiting in anticipation of her night with the woman who had turned her whole world upside down.

“Looking good” Jamie commented as Dani opened the door a few seconds after she had knocked. 

Dani just giggled softly as a small blush filled her cheeks. She wasn’t sure exactly what to wear as she wasn’t sure how long they were going to be sat in the small patch of woods waiting for the flowers to open. She had agreed to spend the whole night there, so she had layered up in anticipation. The thick jeans and baggy sweater weren’t Dani’s usual look, and she wasn’t sure how Jamie would respond but with the look on her face as her eyes scanned Dani up and down, she looked far from disappointed at the lack of her usual floral summer dresses.

“I wasn’t really sure what to wear” Dani chuckled nervously as she picked up her bag from beside the door, “I don’t know how cold it will end up being tonight”.

“Shouldn’t be too cold, Poppins, but I’ve got a pile of blankets in the car and a flask of tea if you want it” Jamie replied as she watched Dani lock the door behind her then follow her to her truck.

A small grin appeared on Dani’s lips as her stomach flurried a little at the thought of Jamie being so kind and considerate to bring her a flask of tea so that she didn’t get cold.

“Thanks” Dani said softly as she followed behind Jamie.

The drive to the gardens was mostly filled with small talk as they asked how the other had been, even though only 24 hours had passed since they had last spoke. Although they saw each other every day, they never ran out of things to talk about and even if silence fell over them, it was never uncomfortable.

Dani followed Jamie down the now familiar paths of the gardens that led to the small patch of woods where the moonflowers were hidden. 

“Why do you have a basket?” Dani asked as she kept looking down at the large picnic hamper that Jamie was carrying in her hand which had a stack of blankets on top.

“I brought some food just in case we get hungry” Jamie said as she kept her eyes on the path in front of her “Sometimes they take a while to bloom so I just thought we could snack whilst we wait”.

Dani smiled widely again at how considerate Jamie was. “I brought wine” Dani said as she laughed softly.

“Wine, huh?” Jamie said as she looked up at Dani and smirked.

“For the same reason. I didn’t know quite how long we would be out here, and I thought that maybe wine would help us pass the time” Dani giggled as she remembered looking at the wine rack just before Jamie had knocked on her door and thought that maybe they could have a glass to warm them up a little and take the edge off of her nerves.

“Well,” Jamie chuckled as she turned down the small path that would lead them to the moonflowers, “Can't say no to a glass of wine, can I? But I am driving so I’ll just have one”.

“Oh-I” Dani started as she furrowed her eyebrows in annoyance at herself for not thinking about Jamie driving, “I’m sorry, I totally forgot you were driving, we don’t-”.

“Hey” Jamie said turning around quickly which took Dani by surprise and she stopped instantly in her tracks so that she didn’t collide with her, “It’s fine, Dani, don’t worry about it. I can have one. Plus, we might be out here all night so the alcohol will wear off in no time”.

“I’m sorry” Dani said softly as she continued to curse herself for not thinking.

“Dani” Jamie said sternly, “There’s no need to apologise, okay. One glass won't put me over the limit”.

Dani just smiled softly, and it only grew as Jamie took hold of her hand and pulled her towards the moonflowers.

The sun was just slowly setting as Jamie and Dani laid out some of the blankets that Jamie had brought with her and sat themselves down next to each other so that they were facing the moonflowers which were just closed buds at the moment.

“So, tell me” Jamie started as she opened the picnic hamper and pulled out two reusable coffee cups and placed them on the blanket, “What did you learn from your research on moonflowers then?”

Dani just smiled softly as she pulled her bag from off her shoulders and placed it in front of her.

“Wanna get that bottle of wine out, Poppins?” Jamie asked as she gestured to the cups.

“Yeah” Dani giggled as she pulled out the wine bottle from her bag to give to Jamie, “Are you really going to put me on the spot like that? I’m no expert on moonflowers, I just did a quick google search”.

“Sure am” Jamie chuckled as she took the bottle from Dani’s hand, “I just wanna know what you learnt”.

“Okay, well” Dani giggled as she tried hard to recall what she had learnt, “They flower at night, usually around dusk but sometimes it varies”.

Jamie just nodded her head whilst she set about pouring out two glasses of wine into the coffee cups.

“They are only open for around 12 hours” Dani carried on as she watched Jamie pour the wine, “They are extremely hard to grow, especially in this climate”.

“Fucking hard to grow in this climate” Jamie chuckled as she handed Dani a coffee cup.

“Did you not have any red solo cups or anything?” Dani chuckled as she took the cup from Jamie.

“One, I have no idea what they are and two, I wanna do my bit to save the planet so reusable coffee cups it is. They are all I had” Jamie chuckled as she placed the wine to the side and picked up her cup, “I only had one though, so I had to swing by the nearest coffee shop to buy you one”.

“You bought it especially for me?” Dani said smiling widely at the thought of Jamie going out of her way to buy her something.

“Yeah, course” Jamie chuckled, “Couldn’t have you drinking out of your hands or something could we?”.

Dani just laughed as she looked down at the coffee cup in her hands, “Did you pick the bright pink glittery one specifically for me or did you just pick the first one you saw?”.

“Picked it especially for you” Jamie said as she looked down at her own cup which was plain black, “And as you can see, I'm not really a bright pink glittery person, so keep it, I don’t mind”.

“Thanks” Dani whispered as her thumb stroked over the pattern on the cup as she thought about Jamie looking at it in the shop and thinking of her.

A few moments of silence fell over the pair as they sipped on their wine and kept their eyes focused on the moonflowers in front of them.

“This is good wine” Jamie said, which pulled Dani out of her wondering thoughts about the brunette sat next to her.

“It is” Dani said before she took another sip, “I’m not really much of a wine drinker, or a drinker in general but Eddie really enjoys his wine so whatever he buys I trust to be good”.

Jamie just nodded slowly as she took another sip, “Tastes expensive”.

“Probably is” Dani giggled as she looked over at Jamie with a soft smile, “He only really buys the ‘good stuff’ as he calls it but honestly, I can't tell the difference”.

“I just buy the £4.99 stuff” Jamie said as she laughed softly, “Tastes fine to me. Gets you drunk is the main thing”.

“Well, no getting drunk tonight, I have no idea how to get home from here” Dani said laughing softly as she scooted closer to Jamie.

“Don’t worry, Poppins” Jamie said before taking another sip of her drink, “I won't leave you to fend for yourself out here”.

A few hours passed before a handful of buds started to open. By that time Dani was tucked into Jamie’s side with Jamie’s arm wrapped around her and a blanket draped over their shoulders to keep the chill off of them. Once the sun had gone down, the air had grown colder but nothing that a blanket or two wouldn’t resolve.

“Why did you come here?” Dani asked quietly as she rested her head against Jamie’s shoulder as her eyes kept on staring at the slightly ajar buds in front of them.

“To the gardens?” Jamie asked as she furrowed her brow.

“To London” Dani clarified, “You said that this was your first job when you moved here, but why did you come to London in the first place?”.

A moment of silence passed before Jamie dismissively said, “Long story, Poppins, you probably don’t wanna hear it”.

“I do” Dani said softly, not wanting to push Jamie into tell her something that she didn’t want to but wanting to let her know that she was there if she did, “Only if you want to tell it me but looking at how slowly these buds are opening, I'm guessing we have enough time”.

Jamie just chuckled as her arm tightened around Dani’s shoulders, “I just don’t want you to think any differently of me, that’s all”.

“I won't” Dani said seriously as she reached for Jamie’s hand, “But you don’t have to tell me if you aren’t comfortable”.

Jamie just squeezed Dani’s hand softly as she took in a deep breath then said, “Well, you know I was in care, right?”.

Dani just nodded as she recalled the conversation that she had had that week with Jamie and Mikey where Mikey had brought it up.

“Well, as you can imagine it’s not great and although they try and weed out the bad people, there are always some that fall through the cracks and I got placed with a few of those. I was 15 when Mikey and I got split up. He got placed with a decent family and I got placed with a shitty family again and I couldn’t take it anymore, now that Mikey wasn’t with me, so I ran away when I was 16 and this was the only place big enough to fly under the radar really” Jamie said, never once looking at Dani who was now intently staring at her.

“I’m sorry” Dani whispered, “For bringing it up, I shouldn’t have asked”.

“It’s okay, Poppins, you weren’t to know” Jamie said softly as she squeezed Dani’s hand that was still holding hers, “Then well, as you can imagine, a 16-year-old with no money or anything alone in a big city like this, I fell in with the wrong crowd. I was naïve and trusted the wrong people and it cost me 16 months inside when I was 18 but that got me into gardening so I can't be too mad”.

“You went to prison?” Dani asked softly as she held on tighter to Jamie’s hand.

Jamie just nodded, “Yeah, took the fall for someone who said that they loved me and well, they clearly didn’t, did they?”.

“I’m sorry that happened to you” Dani whispered as she lifted her head from Jamie’s shoulder. She didn’t exactly know what to say in response to what Jamie had told her, but she was genuinely sorry that someone had made Jamie do that for them. Jamie was the kindest and most considerate person that she knew and to think that someone took advantage of that broke Dani’s heart, “You didn’t deserve that”.

“I know” Jamie whispered, barely audible, “For a while I thought that I did but not now and it took a lot of time for me to realise that”.

Dani just intertwined her fingers with Jamie’s as she turned to face her. “I’m glad you did though” Dani said softly, “And you deserve someone who really loves you too”.

“Look” Jamie said softly as she pulled Dani back into her and pointed in front of them to a moonflower that was just starting to fully open. 

“Oh, wow” Dani whispered as she rested her head back onto Jamie’s shoulder whilst her eyes fell on the flower, “It’s beautiful”.

“It is” Jamie whispered back as she lent her head against Dani’s.

The pair sat in silence, hand in hand, as they watched the moonflowers open one by one in front of them.

Although Dani had seen a few pictures of moonflowers when she had researched them, they hadn't even come close to the beauty that she saw in front of her. As the petals slowly opened to reveal themselves, they shone brighter than she had ever imagined they would. In the pale moonlight, their white petals gleamed far brighter than anything she had seen before and it was amazing to her how in the dark of the night, something so beautiful had appeared. And although they would be gone by morning, their beauty made their short lives seem worth all the effort that Jamie had put into growing them.

With her hand holding Jamie’s and her head resting on her shoulder, Dani had never felt more alive in her whole life. In many ways she felt exactly like the moonflowers that she was watching. She had spent her whole life in the wrong environment but then Jamie had come along, found her exactly the right spot to plant her in and she was slowly letting her grow. It had taken Dani so long to get to a point where she was starting to let herself feel everything that she had supressed for so long and she knew that one day, with a little help from Jamie, she would eventually bloom, just like the ones in front of her. She was just the beginning of a small bud, but she knew that one day, she would eventually get to flower and no matter how much Jamie helped her, she would never get to see that day if she didn’t help herself too.

“I like you” Dani blurted out in a voice that was a little louder than she had anticipated and a little too high-pitched.

Jamie jumped a little as Dani’s voice broke the long silence that had fallen over them whilst they watched the flowers bloom together but as she processed Dani’s words a soft, small smile appeared on her lips at the sudden declaration.

“I like you too, Poppins” Jamie said quietly.

Dani’s heart skipped a beat and the butterflies in her stomach went crazy as her mind replayed what Jamie had just said. Although she had heard Jamie admit that she liked her to Mikey, to have her whisper it in the cool nights air as her head rested on her shoulder was the most alive that she had ever felt, and she never wanted to let this feeling go. 

“Can I kiss you?” Dani asked, her voice still a little loud and a little too high-pitched with a mix of nerves and excitement as she lifted her head from Jamie’s shoulder.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliffhanger in the last chapter but I hope this makes up for it a little! hope you all enjoy! :)

“Can I kiss you?” Jamie heard Dani’s still a little loud and slightly high-pitched voice ask which gave away her mix of nervousness and excitement as she lifted her head from where it was resting on Jamie’s shoulder.

Jamie was slightly taken aback at Dani’s forwardness, yet she was proud that she had felt comfortable enough around her to ask her that, but Jamie still knew that it was a bad idea. Dani was married. She had a loving husband at home who had no idea that his wife was basically having an affair with the woman that he had hired to create their garden project, even though the most that her and Dani had done up until this point was shared a few longing stares and held hands but either way, Jamie didn’t feel comfortable knowing that Dani was basically cheating on her husband with her. 

However, Jamie knew that Dani could make her own decisions and who was she to judge them. It would have taken Dani so long to build up to this point and to say no might knock her confidence. She probably just needed this moment to help herself solidify all the feelings that were swirling around inside of her and Jamie knew that if she was in Dani’s position, she would have probably wanted to do the same thing. But regardless of what Dani needed, the nagging thought that Dani had a husband at home who had no idea what she was about to do just didn’t sit right with Jamie.

“Dani” Jamie whispered as she closed her eyes for a second to show her frustration at the situation that she found herself in. Her voice revealed her immensely strong desire to throw caution to the wind and just kiss Dani, yet it also revealed that she knew it really shouldn’t happen, “You have a-”

However, before Jamie could finish her sentence, Dani’s lips crashed into hers.

All the confusion and the feelings of guilt and shame that had once consumed her life all melted away the second Dani’s lips touched Jamie’s. Years of telling herself that she was broken or that there was something wrong with her had all been forgotten and all she could feel was relief and understanding. Understanding that this was who she was, and this is who she had always been. All the years of questioning every thought that she had and crying herself to sleep every night were all made up for by this one kiss. Nothing in her life had ever felt more right, more natural, more like herself than her lips on Jamie’s.

Dani pulled Jamie closer into her by the collar of her oversized jacket and Jamie did the same by placing her hands on either side of Dani’s face.

The thoughts of guilt about Dani having a husband had quickly drifted away as all Jamie could focus on was Dani’s hungry lips on hers and nothing had ever felt so good in all of her life. All her worries, fears and inhibitions suddenly vanished as her body tingled with pure joy. 

Dani hesitantly pulled away from the heated kiss just enough so that she could see into Jamie’s eyes but still be close enough to her so that she could continue kissing Jamie if she wanted to and she most certainly did. A wide smile of pure happiness and relief settled on her face as all the pieces of her puzzle were suddenly falling into place whilst she stared into Jamie’s beautiful green eyes.

“Wow” Jamie whispered softly, her hands still cupping Dani’s face as her thumb started to run softly along her cheekbone. Jamie had kissed quite a few women in her life up until that point for one reason or another, mostly to dull the ache of loneliness but no kiss had never felt like that before, not once. 

“Wow indeed” Dani whispered back as she searched Jamie’s eyes for a sign that it was okay to kiss her again. 

The dark green orbs didn’t hold a single glimpse of reservation, so Dani slowly lent forward again and delicately kissed Jamie’s lips. Unlike the first kiss, this one was slower, not as heated or rushed but still conveying the same emotions. Dani wanted to savour this moment forever, so she didn’t feel the need to rush it, she just wanted to simply enjoy it. Nothing had ever felt so right before in all of her life and she wasn’t about to stop it now.

Dani gently pushed Jamie down onto the blanket below them and climbed on top of her, never once letting their lips disconnect. Jamie just let Dani lead her and she delicately tangled her hands into Dani’s soft blonde hair as she pulled her closer, sighing softly when she felt Dani’s tongue swipe across her bottom lip asking for permission to enter which Jamie instantly granted.

Although nothing had ever felt as good as Dani’s weight on top of her, lovingly kissing her lips, as the cold mental of Dani’s wedding ring brushed over Jamie’s warm cheek, her mind quickly returned to Eddie and how wrong what they were doing was.

It took all the strength that Jamie had to slowly stop Dani’s actions before she whispered, “Dani” as she softly pushed the eager blonde back by her shoulders.

Dani’s eyes widen in fear as she saw Jamie’s eyes harbouring a significant amount of guilt.

“I-I I’m so sorry” Dani said as she quickly sat herself up and began to climb off of Jamie’s body.

Jamie quickly stilled her nervous erratic movements by firmly placing one hand on her thigh and taking her hand in the other. “There’s no need to apologise” Jamie said seriously, before letting out a soft chuckle, “That’s the best kiss I’ve ever had”.

Dani smiled softly but furrowed her brow in confusion, “So what’s wrong?”.

“You’re married, Dani” Jamie said quietly as she squeezed Dani’s hand.

“I know” Dani whispered as a wave of guilt suddenly hit her as she thought of Eddie out at the bar with his friends and her not sat beside him like she should have been. The thin gold band on her ring finger suddenly felt a lot heavier than it had done in the past. “But I, I don’t love him, not in that way. I never have” Dani said softly, trying to remind herself of that as well as Jamie who was still laid underneath her.

“I understand” Jamie said as she reassuringly squeezed Dani’s thigh, “But I, I can't help but feel guilty. To be cheated on really isn’t fun and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, Dani, I really wouldn’t. And I don’t think that I’m comfortable, y’know, being a part of that”.

Jamie had been cheated on before so she knew how it felt and although she fully understood Dani’s situation and how it was totally different from what had happened to her, she still couldn’t help but think of how it would feel for Eddie. She didn’t know him, but she knew how it felt for someone who you loved to go behind your back with someone else and it wasn’t fair on Eddie to have to experience that like she did.

“I-I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to made you feel uncomfortable” Dani whispered as she climbed off of Jamie’s lap and sat beside her, making sure to put enough distance between them.

“I know, and again, Dani you don’t need to apologise to me. I didn’t exactly stop you, did I?” Jamie said chuckling a little, more from her nerves than anything else.

Dani lifted her head up a little and smiled softly at Jamie who was still holding her hand.

“And you didn’t make me feel uncomfortable” Jamie said smiling softly back at Dani, “Actually, quite the opposite really”. Jamie had never felt so safe with another person before and to have that with Dani in such a short amount of time was baffling to her and she really wanted Dani to know that she hadn't make her feel weird or uncomfortable. “I just think that maybe we should hold off, y’know, from making out in the woods at night until you talk to Eddie” Jamie said letting out a soft chuckle as she tried to alleviate both her and Dani’s nerves.

The thought of having to tell her husband that she didn’t love him and never had, not in the way that he thought that she did made Dani feel physically sick. She didn’t know if she had it in her to break his heart like that, but she also knew that if she didn’t break his heart, she would be the one with a broken heart who couldn’t pursue what she wanted to with Jamie.

“And I understand that you will need time to do that” Jamie said softly as she pulled Dani closer into her as she couldn’t stand the large gap between their bodies, not after having her so close all night, “And I will be here to support you, if you want me too, I know that it won't be easy. But Dani, I can't be a knowing participant in you cheating on your husband, even if you don’t love him. It’s an awful feeling to be cheated on and I like you Dani, I really do but can't be a part of that.”.

“I understand” Dani whispered. She knew that it was the right thing to do but that didn’t stop her heart breaking at the thought of not getting to kiss Jamie again. She had never felt more like herself before and to think that she wouldn’t be able to feel that way again until she talked to Eddie made her feel physically sick.

A few moments of silence passed between the pair as they both just replayed what had happened between them in their heads. Although the situation was awkward and a little uncomfortable, neither of them felt that the silence between them was anything other than comfortable and safe.

“How can I tell him?” Dani whispered a few minutes later as a few tears fell from her eyes, “I’ll break his heart”.

Jamie just pulled Dani into a comforting hug and held her tightly as she let her sob into her chest.

“But you also have to think of yourself” Jamie said softly as she rubbed soothing circles into Dani’s back, “When’s the last time you put yourself first?”.

“Like 5 minutes ago” Dani whispered through her soft cries.

“And before then?” Jamie asked, confident in what Dani’s response was going to be.

Dani was silent for a few moments before she whispered back, “Never”.

“There you go then” Jamie whispered, “You’ve got to start living your life for yourself, no one else”.

Dani just nodded softly as she clung on tighter to Jamie’s body. Dani was very much a suffer in silence type of person and never really sought out comfort from others but wrapping her arms around Jamie’s body and her tightly hugging her back was the most comforted and supported Dani had probably ever felt in her whole life.

“I’m not making you uncomfortable, am I?” Dani asked suddenly as she lessened her grip around the brunette and pulled her head back to look into Jamie’s eyes as she realised that this might be crossing Jamie’s boundary a little.

“No” Jamie said smiling softly and shaking her head a little, “I can't not hug you if you’re upset”.

“Thanks” Dani giggled, her cries slowly starting to stop, “Because it’s really helping”.

“I’m glad” Jamie whispered as she slowly laid herself back down on the blanket and brought Dani down with her before covering them up with another blanket.

Dani snuggled into Jamie’s side as she slowly started to close her eyes whilst she felt her head rise and fall with Jamie’s chest.

“Sorry for ruining your night” Dani whispered after a few minutes of comfortable silence as her tears dried up.

“You didn’t ruin my night, Poppins” Jamie whispered as she ran her hands through Dani’s hair in hopes of it calming her down and making her feel safe, “Think it’s probably been the best night of my life actually”.

“Me too” Dani whispered, “But I really am sorry for making you uncomfortable, I really didn’t think about how my actions might hurt you”.

“It’s okay, Dani, it really is” Jamie whispered back, “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, but I am glad we talked about it. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt in this situation, none of us deserve it”.

“I know, you’re right” Dani said as she took hold of Jamie’s hand and pulled it in close to her face, “I’ll talk to him. I know I should have done it a while ago, more like 10 years ago but better late than never, right?”.

“You’re the bravest person I know” Jamie whispered as she squeezed Dani’s hand, “And I can't wait to see you grow into the person you’ve always been”.

The rest of the night passed by in relative silence. Dani fell asleep on Jamie’s chest whilst Jamie played with her hair and watched the moonflowers blossom. Once 1am arrived, Jamie gently woke Dani up before they made their way back through the gardens and to Jamie’s truck. Jamie would usually stay to watch the moonflowers until around 3am but with Dani snoring softly on her chest, she knew that she should probably get her home so that she could have a more comfortable place to sleep.

“Shit” Dani whispered as she saw the large lock on the gates that they had walked through 6 hours before, “It’s locked”.

Jamie just chuckled as she pulled out a small key from her pocket, “One of the lads that works here lends me his key so that I can come and watch the moonflowers bloom without getting trapped in here overnight”.

“Oh, thank god” Dani giggled as she breathed a small sigh of relief, “I was about to suggest you climb on my back or something so that you could climb over the gates”.

“Actually, I wish I’d have held onto the key a little longer just so that I could see that” Jamie chuckled as she began to unlock to padlock.

The pair then made their way to Jamie’s truck and climbed in. The ride back to Dani’s house was quiet and filled with soft music coming from the radio that Jamie would tap along to as she drove. As Dani stared out the window at the passing houses and lights, she couldn’t help but think that maybe this was the beginning of her life. Maybe this was when she would finally start to put herself first for once. Was this that scene in her coming-of-age movie that would set the course for the rest of story? In that moment, Dani really didn’t think that she could just go back to being the Danielle who she was before that night who tried to please everyone around her and always avoided facing who she truly was. She couldn’t be anyone but the Dani who had been brave enough to let herself feel for the first time in her life.

When Jamie pulled up outside of Dani’s house, Dani remained sat in her seat for a few seconds before she unclipped her seatbelt. She really didn’t want the night to come to an end, but she knew that there would be other nights, hopefully in the near future anyway. 

“See you Monday then?” Dani asked hopefully.

“9:30am on the dot, like always” Jamie replied with a small smirk.

“Thanks for tonight” Dani whispered as she placed her hand on Jamie’s thigh and gave it a soft squeeze.

“Your most welcome, Poppins. Hope you enjoyed the moonflowers” Jamie said as her eyes gazed down at Dani’s warm hand sat on her thigh.

“I really did” Dani said softly, “They were way more beautiful than I had ever imagined”. Dani then let a seconds of silence pass between then before she tentatively whispered, “And I promise you that one day soon, I’ll bloom just like them”.

“I don’t doubt it” Jamie replied was a small, reassuring smile.

“Drive safe” Dani said as she removed her hand from Jamie’s leg and went to open the door, “Text me when you get home”.

“I would, Poppins, but I kinda don’t have ya number” Jamie said, her infamous cocky smirk appearing on her lips. The only number she had was Eddie’s and she wasn’t about to text him that she had made it home safe from spending the evening with his wife.

“Oh” Dani said giggling, “Right, I’m sorry. Here, give me your phone”.

Dani typed her number into Jamie’s phone, double checking to make sure that it was correct before handing it her back, getting out of the car and heading inside. Jamie waited until Dani had safely locked her front door behind her before driving off.

15 minutes later, just as Dani had crawled into her empty bed as Eddie still wasn’t home, her phone buzzed.

‘Home safe now, Poppins. Thanks for coming with me tonight, I had a really great time. Hope you sleep well’.

Dani smiled widely as she read the message and she couldn’t help but think that she wouldn’t ever sleep as well as she had done when she was laid with her head on Jamie’s chest and holding onto her hand.

A minute or so later, another text came through, just as Dani was going to reply to the first one.

‘Oh, this is Jamie by the way, I should have said that in the first text. I don’t know how many random numbers you have texting you at any one time’

Dani giggled softly as she shook her head a little.

‘You’re so cute, Jamie. And I’m glad you made it home safe. I had a really great time too tonight, I hope we can do it again sometime. Have a good night’s sleep’.

With that Dani put her phone on her nightstand and got comfy in bed. It took her a while to drift off back to sleep without the soft rise and fall of Jamie’s chest to soothe her, but she finally managed it. Her mind constantly replayed the nights events in her head and Dani’s heart couldn’t help but race every time she remembered how it felt to have her lips pressed against Jamie’s and she promised herself that she would talk to Eddie, regardless of how much she dreaded it. If she was going to bloom, she had to be brave.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// self-harm 
> 
> just a prior warning there is a brief mention of some self-harm in this chapter so feel free to skip it if you need too.

The next few days passed by relatively quickly, although Dani kept on having an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach that only got stronger as the days passed without talking to Eddie. 

Sunday had been a quiet day of Eddie sleeping in late and nursing his hangover. He had lost track of the number of drinks that he had had on Saturday night and stumbled into bed sometime around 3am and didn’t get back out of it until gone 12pm the next day. Eddie wasn’t a big fan of getting drunk, he liked to have a glass or two of wine or something a little stronger, but he never really got drunk. Dani couldn’t even remember a time when she had seen him that drunk before. She had just assumed that it was maybe because he was trying to fit in with his new work friends that he had gotten drunk that night, but she wasn’t entirely sure. It was slightly out of character for him, but she hadn't really questioned it too much and she never asked him about it as if there was something wrong, he would have discussed it with her. As a result of Eddie’s hangover, she thought that it was best that she didn’t have ‘the talk’ with him about their relationship that day so she just opted to sit with him in bed and try her best to help him feel better. 

Monday came and went as Dani tried hard not to spend all day talking to Jamie as she knew that the next day would be her last day on the job. Dani tried her best to commit to memory the image of Jamie stood in her garden, rubbing sun cream into her arms and legs at regular intervals as the summer sun grew hotter by the hour. 

Jamie always tried to put on a good show for Dani as she worked but Dani had noticed that on Monday, Jamie was just focusing on working. There was no performance, no extremely short shorts or lifting up of her shirt to show off her toned abdomen and Dani had wondered why. Maybe Jamie had told herself to refrain from doing that until Dani had spoken to Eddie or maybe Jamie had thought there was no need to put on a show for Dani as she knew that Dani liked her regardless of if she seductively bent over whilst planting bulbs or maybe it was because she had opened up to her and showed Dani the real Jamie that she felt like she no longer needed to be that Jamie around her anymore? Whatever the reason for the lack of an irresistible show, it didn’t matter to Dani, she liked this Jamie just as much if not more as the one who constantly tried to raise her blood pressure. There was no performance, no character, just the kind, soft and extremely patient Jamie who had let her fall asleep on her chest in the middle of the woods whilst holding onto her hand.

Tuesday had come and gone quickly too. Jamie finished the garden project in the early afternoon and then her and Dani had laid on the grass side by side soaking up the sun and chatting. Dani was glad that Jamie hadn't just packed up and left when she had finished just a little after 1:30pm. Jamie usually stayed until 5pm every day and Dani was hoping for the same thing today, but she would be grateful for whatever amount of time that Jamie would choose to stay with her. The sun was shining brightly, the water was trickling softly down her new water feature and she had amazing company and Dani would have loved to just stay in that moment forever and never return to her normal life that was always waiting around the corner for her. 

“You liking England so far then? Are you settling in okay?” Jamie asked as she laid on her back in the grass next to Dani who was laid on her front, trying her best to get an even tan.

“Yeah, I am” Dani said giggling softly as she opened her eyes to look over at Jamie, “This weather has definitely helped though, I thought it rained all the time here”.

Dani had been sure to leave a moderate amount of space between her and Jamie in order to not make Jamie uncomfortable and to also stop herself from being tempted to feel Jamie’s lips on hers again. However, the space in between them really didn’t help with the latter like Dani had imagined that it would. As long as Jamie was still in her mind, Dani thought that the desire to kiss her again would never go away.

“It does, most of the time” Jamie chuckled, “Guess you arrived at a good time then”.

Dani just hummed softly as she rolled onto her back, “Maybe. Didn’t even bring any sunscreen with me. I didn’t expect to use any”.

“Got plenty if you want to borrow some” Jamie said as she shifted a little to accommodate for Dani turning over. “As you can see, the sun isn’t exactly my best friend. Factor 50 doesn’t even cut it sometimes” Jamie said as she gestured to her slightly red arms even though she had been lathering them up with a thick layer of sun cream all day.

“Could I? I can feel my back is burning a little” Dani asked softly as she looked over at Jamie’s slightly burnt skin and felt the desire to somehow help her soothe it.

“Sure” Jamie said as she sat up and reached into her bag that was next to her.

“Thanks” Dani whispered softly as Jamie handed her a tube of sun cream, “I have some lotion upstairs that might help ease those burns on your arms if you want some?”.

“No, it’s alright, I have some at home that does the job” Jamie said smiling softly as she watched Dani put some cream onto her hand then rub it into her shoulders.

Once Dani had put cream onto her arms and shoulders, she reached around for her back and tried her best to reach the bare skin that the material of her dress wasn’t covering. She usually asked Eddie to rub cream on the parts of herself that she couldn’t reach but asking Jamie to do it seemed quite inappropriate, so she tried her best to do it on her own.

Jamie chuckled softly as she watched the blonde struggle to rub the cream into her back and without giving it too much thought she asked, “Want me to help?”.

Dani’s eyes widen in response to the question and even though she knew that it would be a bad idea, her body reacted before her mind could stop her answer.

Dani’s slow nod was all that Jamie needed to sit up onto her knees and take the tube of sun cream into her hands. She delicately moved one of Dani’s dress straps from her shoulder and slowly started to rub cream into her back.

Jamie’s cold hand was a welcomed relief to the slightly red and warm skin of Dani’s back and her eyes fluttered shut at the soothing sensation. She could tell that Jamie was being careful not to overstep any lines and she couldn’t help but think that the Jamie from two weeks ago would have definitely made a bigger deal of this simple act than the Jamie sat behind her right now. 

As Jamie gently ran her hand along the bare skin of Dani’s back, she could see the goosebumps form and Jamie wasn’t sure if it was a reaction to her touch or just the soothing sensation of the cool cream on her tight, red skin.

“All done” Jamie said softly as she delicately placed the straps of Dani’s dress back onto her shoulders, careful not to cause any pain to her slightly burnt skin.

“Thank you” Dani whispered as she tried hard to slow her breathing and heartrate by closing her eyes for a few seconds and taking slow deep breaths.

As Dani tried to give Jamie back her sun cream, Jamie shook her head lightly. “Keep it” Jamie said with a small smile as she went to lay back down a little further into the shade of the one tree that stood in Dani’s back garden, “Don’t want ya to burn again whilst you’re enjoying ya new garden”.

“I can pick some up the next time that I go to the store, I really don’t have to keep yours” Dani said as she made her way over to Jamie to try and give her the sun cream back.

“Got plenty at home” Jamie said, her eyes closed as she tried hard to not focus on how good it had felt to run her fingers over Dani’s soft, smooth skin, “But if you really want to give it back, just put it next to my bag, we might still need it later”.

Dani just smiled softly down at Jamie as she laid in the shade of her tree with her arms resting on her stomach as her legs poked out of the shade and into the sun. Dani couldn’t get over just how beautiful Jamie really was when she was like this, just Jamie. There was no bravado or cockiness, just kind and gentle Jamie and it reminded her of Saturday night all over again which also reminded her that she really had to talk to Eddie at some point soon.

Dani had planned to talk to him on the Sunday but with him nursing his hangover, Dani had felt it was best to postpone it, but she didn’t know when to. Monday night whilst they were eating dinner, she had contemplated it, but Eddie was so stressed out by work that Dani had felt that it was best to not add to his stress so that had left today but Eddie was working late and by the time he would get home, he would be tired and that might make him moody, so it was best not to approach the subject tonight either.

“Poppins?” Jamie asked as she opened one eye to find Dani just staring down at her, but she wasn’t really looking at her, more like though her, “You okay?”.

Jamie’s soft voice quickly pulled Dani out of her thoughts and she shook her head to recentre herself before smiling widely down at Jamie, “Yes, sorry, got a little lost in my head there for a second. Would you like another drink or something?”.

“Water would be good, thanks” Jamie responded as she searched Dani’s eyes to check to see if she was really okay, but Jamie couldn’t find anything too concerning, just a hint of something that seemed to be playing on Dani’s mind and Jamie guessed what that probably was.

“Can't tempt you to a glass of iced tea?” Dani asked playfully as she knew that Jamie hated the drink after she had given her a glass a week or so ago.

Jamie just rolled her eyes in mock disgust, “That was the worst drink that I’ve ever tasted”.

“That’s a little dramatic” Dani giggled as she walked towards her kitchen door to fix them a glass of water each.

The rest of the afternoon flew by with neither Dani nor Jamie wanting it to come to an end. They both knew that this was the last day that they would get to spend together so they just wanted to make the most of it before Jamie would move onto another job.

“You, erm, you talked to Eddie yet?” Jamie asked as she sat opposite Dani at her kitchen table.

Dani had asked if Jamie had wanted to stay for dinner as it would just be her as Eddie was working late and she also really didn’t want Jamie to leave her either, so she had thought inviting her to stay for dinner was a good way to keep her around, at least for an hour or so. As much as she wanted to just wrap her arms around Jamie’s neck and feel her soft lips on hers again, she could handle not overstepping the mark if it meant that she could just spend more time with Jamie and enjoy her company. Dani had never felt so comfortable and confident around someone before, and she almost felt like she never wanted to be without Jamie. 

Dani had felt that way with Eddie at first. He had been the person who she had felt the safest with, the person who was her happy place yet as the years had passed, Eddie’s security had turned into somewhat of a prison. Although she still felt safe with him, their relationship had stunted her growth. She still felt that she was the exact same person as the 14 year old who had agreed to be his girlfriend, the same 18 year old who had let him choose the same college as her so that he could go with her, the same 22 year old who had moved into their first house with him and the same 24 year old who had married him. Ever since they had been together, Dani had felt like she hadn't progressed and although there was some sort of comfort in that, over the years, Dani had realised that she was no longer that same person who he had fallen in love with, or maybe she had just accepted the person who she had always been.

“Erm, no, not yet” Dani replied softly as she played with the pasta on her plate.

Jamie had already known the answer to the question before she had asked it and if she was being honest, she really didn’t know why she had said it in the first place, but she just wanted to gage where Dani was at. Jamie didn’t want to rush Dani or pressure her into this life changing decision, but she just wanted to see how Dani was doing with it all and offer her support if Dani wanted it.

Jamie just nodded softly as she sensed that there was more that Dani wanted to say.

“I, I planned on talking to him on Sunday, but he had a pretty nasty hangover, so I didn’t think it was the right time” Dani said after she had taken a bite of food to fill the silence before she figured out what she wanted to say.

“He had a good night out I take it then?” Jamie said, hoping to try and lift the sombre mood that had fallen over the kitchen table.

“Yeah” Dani said with a soft chuckle, “He doesn’t often get drunk so he must have enjoyed himself”.

Jamie just smiled softly as she took another bite of her food.

“I was going to talk to him yesterday too, but he’s been so stressed lately that I really don’t want to add to it if I can help it” Dani said as she went back to nudging her food around on her plate so that she didn’t have to look Jamie in the eyes, “I know it seems like I’m putting it off, but I-I don’t know when the right time will be”.

“Dani” Jamie said softly as she reached forward to put her hand on Dani’s arm that was holding her fork, “There’s no need to rush”.

Dani looked up to meet Jamie’s kind eyes and the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach faded as she did so, and she smiled softly at the woman in front of her.

“But I just feel as though I’m letting you down, myself down, Eddie down” Dani whispered as she felt that all too familiar tight feeling in her throat as she held back her tears.

“Dani” Jamie said firmly as she encouraged Dani to let go of her folk so that she could hold her hand, “You’re not letting anyone down”.

“But I am though” Dani said as she wiped away a few tears that had started to fall.

“You’re not, I promise you” Jamie said, “This is a big decision Dani and it's not one that just happens overnight. These things take time, and you have to do it when you feel ready to and I don’t think that there will ever be a right time to do it, but I think that there will be a time when you know in your heart that the time has come”.

Dani just nodded her head as she clenched her jaw tightly to stop herself from crying. “I’m sorry” Dani whispered as she softly squeezed Jamie’s hand.

“Poppins, there’s no need to be sorry” Jamie whispered reassuringly, “You haven’t done anything wrong”.

“I’ve led you on, I’ve put you in an uncomfortable position and now I’m making you wait for me to pull myself and end a marriage that I shouldn’t have even agreed to in the first place” Dani said as she pulled her hand away from Jamie’s and clenched her fists into tight balls so that her nails dug into her palms.

“Hey” Jamie said as she quickly stood up and moved over so that she was bending down in front of Dani and turning her around to face her. Jamie then placed her hands on top of Dani’s as she saw her knuckles turn white as she dug her nails into her palm to try and stop herself from crying. Jamie used to do the same thing when she was younger to stop herself from crying too but she had managed to stop the habit a few years ago and she hated to see Dani using the same one. “You’re going to hurt yourself” Jamie whispered as she gently tried to prise Dani’s hands out of their tight fists. She eventually uncurled Dani’s hands and held them tightly in her own as she stared into watery blue eyes. “Dani, listen to me” Jamie whispered firmly as she saw Dani’s eyes meet her, “You haven’t led me on. You haven’t put me in an uncomfortable position, and you aren’t making me wait”.

“But I am” Dani whined as tears kept falling from her eyes.

“You’re not” Jamie stated firmly to try to make Dani understand that she was serious, “I am as much of a willing participant in this as you are, okay? I flirted with you, I invited you out on a date and I kissed you back, Dani. You didn’t make me do any of that, did you? I knew from the moment that I arrived on your doorstep that you were married so you didn’t lead me on, I knew that we wouldn’t be able to be together, not as long as you had a husband. And I know that this is a shitty situation but Dani, you didn’t put me in an uncomfortable position. We talked about it like adults and sorted out a solution, okay? This is something that takes time, Dani, I understand that and I’m here for you, always, okay?”.

“But-” Dani started but was cut off by Jamie.

“No ‘buts’, Dani” Jamie said firmly, “I am well aware of the situation and you haven’t made me do anything, okay? I don’t want you to feel any pressure whatsoever from me. I will be here for you, okay, for as long as it takes”.

“Really?” Dani whispered in a tone of voice that broke Jamie’s heart.

“Really, Poppins” Jamie whispered as she squeezed Dani’s hand softly, feeling what she presumed was a little blood from when Dani had dug her nails into her palms, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I’m not about to just get up and leave when things get a little hard, okay? Even if you don’t want us to have a relationship or anything, I would still like to be your friend, Dani. I've never felt so seen or heard or safe in my whole life and I’m not ever letting that go”.

Dani then lunged forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Jamie’s neck and pulled her in close as she sobbed into her shoulder.

Jamie just slowly stood them up and then wrapped her arms tightly around Dani’s waist as she held her.

After a few minutes of standing in the middle of the kitchen just holding one another, Jamie led Dani to sit back down on her chair once her cries had slowed down.

“Let me look at your hands” Jamie whispered softly as she bent down to take Dani’s hands in hers and although she was met with a little resistance, Dani let her open her palms to inspect the damage.

Four perfect crescent shaped lines filled with a little blood were evident on each of Dani’s palms and as Jamie inspected them, Dani turned her head away in embarrassment.

Jamie gently placed a soft kiss to each of Dani’s palms just above the marks and whispered, “No need to be ashamed, I used to do it too”.

“Really?” Dani whispered as she turned her head back to look down at Jamie.

“Yeah, ever since I was little. Usually did it when I got angry or to stop myself from crying but learnt to stop doing it in prison” Jamie whispered as she stood up and went in search of Dani’s first aid box which she had seen a week ago when Dani had asked her to pass her a plate.

“How did you stop?” Dani asked softly as she stared down at the nail marks on her palms.

“Tamara, the prison psych showed me some breathing techniques and stuff” Jamie said as she knelt in front of Dani and started to find what she needed from the first aid box, “Gave me a stress ball too. I was sceptical at first, but it did work. I can show you them sometime if you’d like?”.

“I’d like that, thanks” Dani whispered as she held out her palms for Jamie to clean up.

They sat in silence for a minute or so whilst Jamie cleaned the marks with antiseptic wipes, careful not to cause Dani too much pain.

“All sorted” Jamie said softly as she turned Dani’s hands over and placed a soft kiss to the knuckles of each hand before squeezing them softly.

“Thank you” Dani whispered with a soft, grateful smile, “Sorry you had to see me do it though”.

“It’s okay, Poppins” Jamie whispered as she stood up to place the first aid kit on the kitchen island, “Nothing to be sorry for”. Jamie then turned her attention back to Dani and gently placed her hands on either side of her face and lightly traced her cheek bones with her thumbs, “Don’t be so hard on yourself, okay? You’re brave, Dani, the bravest person I know and whatever life throws at you, I know you can handle it”.

“I don’t deserve you” Dani whispered as she bowed her head a little, but it was only lifted back up again by Jamie’s hands.

“I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you” Jamie whispered as she wiped away a single tear that had escaped Dani’s eye at her words.

“And what you said before, about us being friends if I didn’t want us to be together” Dani said softly as she placed her hands on top of Jamie’s, “That’s nice and all but I do really want us to be together at some point if you also want that too. I don’t think I could carry on living if I didn’t feel your lips on mine again”.

“Me too” Jamie whispered before she placed a single, loving kiss to Dani’s forehead, “Me too”.


	8. Chapter 8

Jamie had left that Tuesday night after her and Dani had finished their dinner together and Dani hadn't seen her since. Jamie had moved onto her next job which was on the other side of town but her and Dani had texted each other constantly but that didn’t stop either of their hearts aching for the other. 

Dani hadn't imagined how hard it would be to not see Jamie for 5 days as they had only ever gone a single day without seeing each other and those 5 days had been torture. Dani had felt less and less like herself as the days painfully passed by and she could feel herself reverting back to the old Danielle. The days grew longer as she spent them home alone in a house that she didn’t feel that she belonged in anymore and every night she silently cried herself to sleep next to a husband who she just couldn’t love the way that she was supposed to. The arm that draped around her waist every night that had once made her feel safe and secure now only made her feel trapped in a life that she had never even wanted in the first place. Her heart longed for Jamie and her body craved her touch and by the time Sunday arrived, she just couldn’t take it anymore. Jamie had been right; Dani had come to a point where she knew that it was time to be brave.

Like every Saturday night, Eddie had made his move just after they had finished their dinner and wrapped his arms around Dani’s waist as she washed the dishes. However, Dani had brushed off his advances and claimed that she didn’t feel well and that maybe she would feel better after a good night’s sleep. Eddie had sensed that there was something wrong and had instantly pulled away from Dani, not wanting to make her uncomfortable and then he went and got her some painkillers and told her to sit down whilst he finished off the washing up. However, that only made Dani feel worse as her stomach filled with guilt for leading such a nice guy like Eddie on for way longer than she really needed too.

Sunday morning arrived and Dani gave into Eddie’s kisses and laid herself on her back as he climbed on top of her. This was the part of their relationship that she was the most uncomfortable with. She hadn't been in the beginning as sex had been made out to be a big and scary event by those around her, but it hadn't been that way with Eddie at all. Her friends had told her horror stories of their first times and that had only made her fear of the inevitable event grow even stronger, but Eddie had been so kind, so gentle and so caring that, even though it wasn’t exactly enjoyable, it wasn’t painful or uncomfortable and most importantly she had felt safe. She really didn’t know why her friends enjoyed the act so much, but it was a natural part of any relationship, so she had just played along as that was what she had thought that she had to do. It was always over in a few minutes, so it really wasn’t a big deal but as she had gotten older, Dani had become more and more uncomfortable with having sex. She loved Eddie but not in that way and it always felt so weird to be that intimate with him so she would always try to avoid it if she could.

Dani shifted a little in place and pulled up her nightgown so that it was bunched up around her hips as Eddie reached into the top draw of his nightstand to pull out a condom before returning to kiss Dani’s lips.

“I love you” Eddie whispered before he placed another soft kiss to her lips and gently moved a strand of hair that had fallen onto her face.

After hearing Eddie’s words, Dani suddenly broke. The three words that had come so easy to say in response to Eddie had now become impossible for her to produce. Eddie didn’t deserve this; Eddie deserved a wife who loved him just as much as he loved her. Eddie deserved happiness more than anyone that she knew, and she couldn’t keep playing house hoping that one day she would feel everything that she was supposed to.

“Hey, hey, Danielle” Eddie said softly as he saw a few tears start to roll down her cheeks. He quickly sat back up and moved to sit next to his wife. “What’s wrong, Danielle? Did I hurt you?”.

Dani shook her head softly as she buried her face in her hands. She had no idea how she was going to do this, but she just needed to rip the band-aid off and tell Eddie the truth. It was the least that he deserved. “You’ve never hurt me, Eddie” Dani whispered as she tried to gain some control over her cries, “You’ve always been so kind, so caring”.

“So, what’s wrong then?” Eddie asked softly as he reached over to take hold of one of Dani’s hands.

“I-I’m a…” Dani whispered but the word felt too big to say, too monumental, too scary and she knew that if she said it, her whole life would just fall apart, and she would never be able to return to it. She had only ever said the world out loud to herself the day before when she had stood in front of the mirror and told herself who she truly was. It had felt like a stupid thing to do but she hadn't anticipated just how much of an impact that saying the word out loud to herself would have. It had been hard enough to admit it to herself but to admit it to her husband who she had created a seemingly perfect life with and who was none the wiser of her secret felt impossible. “I’m a lesbian, Eddie”.

Although the room fell deadly silent, Eddie kept his hand holding Dani’s and Dani took that as a positive sign.

“A lesbian?” Eddie asked quietly as he furrowed his brow in confusion.

Dani nodded slowly as she let out a long, slow breath. Her shoulders had never felt this light before, not since she was a child and although she had no idea what was about to come next, she felt all her muscles relax as she had finally admitted her truth.

“You like girls?” Eddie asked as in search of some clarification that he really didn’t need as he knew exactly what Dani had meant.

“Yes” Dani whispered as she felt her fingers start to curl up into a tight fist, but she quickly stopped herself and took a handful of the duvet instead.

“Okay” Eddie whispered as his mind tried to make sense of this new information, “When did you know?”.

Dani looked up at him for the first time since she had started to cry and what she saw in his eyes shocked her. The dark brown eyes that she had always found so much comfort in held no anger, no hostility, just confusion with a large hint of sadness and guilt.

“I’ve probably always known” Dani admitted honestly, “But not until recently really. I’ve always felt things for other women, but I’d never let myself think about it or even acknowledge it, but then it had gotten to a point where I was just lying to myself and to you and I don’t want to do that, not to you, Eddie. You’re my best friend and you don’t deserve that. You deserve the fairy tale love story that you’ve always wanted, and I don’t think that I can give you that. I’ve tried, I really have but I just can't. I’m really sorry, Eddie, I never wanted to hurt you”.

Eddie took in every word that Dani had said and let his mind process it the best that he could.

“Could I have a minute, if you don’t mind?” Eddie asked as his eyes started to fill with tears.

“Of course” Dani whispered as she squeezed his hand that was still holding hers before placing a gentle, almost apologetic kiss to the back of it.

With that Eddie gave her a soft smile before climbing out of bed and walking out of their bedroom. There was silence for a few moments before the sound of heart-breaking muted cries came from down the hallway.

Dani had never felt pain like it before and she hoped that she never would again but as Eddie’s cries filled their home, her heart broke even more, and she knew that she was the only one to blame in this situation. If she had just been honest with herself and not let others decide what they thought was best for her, she wouldn’t have just hurt the person who she loved the most in the whole world.

Dani pulled the duvet cover over her head and sobbed into the material as she heard Eddie do the same.

After 15 minutes of soaking her duvet in tears, her body couldn’t continue crying anymore and by the sound of the silence in the house, Eddie’s body couldn’t either. 

Dani slowly climbed out of bed and went in search of her husband and she found him when she heard soft sniffs coming from behind the closed bathroom door.

“Eddie?” Dani whispered as she placed her palms on the door.

Dani heard a loud sniff and Eddie clear his throat as if trying to compose himself a little.

“Yeah?” Eddie replied.

“Can I come in?” Dani asked hopefully as she wanted to make sure that Eddie was okay, at least as okay as he could be given the situation.

“Yeah” Dani heard Eddie say quietly so she carefully pushed open the door to see Eddie awkwardly stood in the middle of the room with bright red eyes.

“Are you okay?” Dani whispered as she walked a few steps into the room, careful to leave some space between them just in case Eddie wanted it. 

Eddie nodded his head a little and gave Dani a small, not very convincing smile.

“Can I give you a hug?” Dani asked as her heart couldn’t stand to see Eddie in so much pain and not somehow try to relieve it.

Eddie gave Dani another small nod before Dani stepped forward and stood on her tiptoes as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into a hug.

“Did you ever love me?” Eddie whispered, almost like he really didn’t want to know the answer in case it was the one that he was dreading.

Dani took a slow breath in before she said, “Not in the way you love me, but I did love you, I still do”. Dani then pulled out of the hug and lowered herself back down to her normal height, “You’re my best friend Eddie, you always have been, and you always will be. I love you in that way and I tried, I really really tried to love you romantically too, but I-I just couldn’t. I always thought that there was something wrong with me or that it would come with time, but I just realised that I wasn’t being who I truly was”.

“Were you ever happy?” Eddie asked as Dani took hold of his hands, “With me, I mean”.

“Yes” Dani stated truthfully, “I was. You’ve always been the person who I’ve felt the safest around, the only person who really understood me and I was happy with you, I really was. And I thought that that would be enough, y’know, to have a comfortable, happy life with my best friend but then I realised that it wasn’t fair to either of us. We were happy but you deserve someone who loves you Eddie, and I deserve to be able to feel that love too”.

“You’re right” Eddie whispered after a moment of silence had passed as he thought about what Dani had said, “You deserve to feel what it’s like to truly love someone and I’m sorry that you couldn’t feel that with me”.

“But you gave me so much Eddie, you really did” Dani whispered as she squeezed Eddie’s hands that had always felt too big in her own, “And don’t think that you didn’t. This life that we’ve built together is something special and all the moments that we’ve had together I’ll always remember. And I should have been honest with myself to save you, and us, from this heartache and I’m sorry for that, I really am”.

“Have you met someone?” Eddie asked as he blinked away a few tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes.

Dani thought about the question for a second and tried to figure out how best to respond. “Yes” Dani stated simply, thinking that it was better to tell Eddie the truth than to stand in front of him and lie to his face.

“Does she make you happy?” Eddie asked in a hopeful tone.

“I’ve not let it get to that point” Dani said, hoping to try and imply to Eddie that she hadn't started any sort of relationship whilst still married to him, “We’re just friends but yes, she does make me happy. She makes me feel safe and like I can start to explore this part of myself that I’ve always been so ashamed of”.

Eddie smiled softly as he bent down and hugged Dani gently, “I’m sorry I couldn’t have been that person, Danielle. And I won't lie to you and tell you that I’m not upset but I hope that you find someone who you can love and who makes you happy”.

“You too” Dani whispered as she squeezed Eddie tightly, “And I know this will be hard for you, but I hope that we can still be friends. I love you Eddie and I think one of the reasons why I didn’t do this sooner was because you’re my best friend and I didn’t want to lose you”.

Eddie then pulled away from the hug and gave Dani a small smile, “I think that might be too painful right now but one day I think we can do that. I think I just need some time”.

“I understand” Dani whispered softly. She really did hope that her and Eddie could continue being friends, but she knew that was a lot to ask of him.

“Do you want me to move out? Or maybe you want to move out if you’ve got someone to be with?” Eddie asked as he looked down at the ground nervously.

“No, I don’t have anyone to be with” Dani said, hoping to ease Eddie’s worry a little that she hadn’t moved on so quickly, “I wouldn’t do that behind your back. And we can figure out logistics some other time if you’d like? We don’t have to do everything right now, there’s no rush”.

“We probably shouldn’t prolong this any longer than it needs to be” Eddie whispered. The pain in his voice broke Dani’s heart and she really wished that it could have been different between them.

“Yeah, you’re probably right” Dani whispered back, although she really didn’t believe what she was saying.

Eddie spent a few hours at the house, packing a few bags with what he would need for a few nights away at a hotel. Although Dani didn’t really want Eddie to leave, she knew that it was for the best. They both needed the space away from the other to think and Dani was scared that if he stayed, the friendship that she hoped that they could build would be ruined before it had even started. 

“I really am sorry” Dani whispered into Eddie’s ear as she pulled him into a final embrace before he left that afternoon.

“Me too” Eddie whispered back, “I should have seen that you were struggling and if I'm being honest, I’ve always sensed that you weren’t as happy with me as you could have been”.

“It’s not your fault, Eddie” Dani said softly as she pulled away from the hug, “I think we were both pushed into something that we were a little uncomfortable with. But I should have been honest with you from the beginning and I should have been honest with myself too”.

“I should have been honest with you too” Eddie replied as he fiddled with the handle on his small suitcase that was stood by his side, “I think we both had our reservations about this life”.

Dani just nodded and smiled softly, “Thank you for everything though, and I’ll always love you. I hope you know that”.

“I do. And I’ll always love you too, Dani” Eddie whispered, “Take care of yourself”.

“You too” Dani whispered back quietly.

With that, Eddie picked up his bag and suitcase and headed out of the door as Dani watched him go with tears in her eyes.

For the rest of the day, Dani wondered around her house aimlessly, not really knowing what to do with herself. She had thought about this day for a while now, but she hadn't expected it to be like this. She thought that she would talk to Eddie and then she would feel free and be able to live the life that she always should have done but she hadn't expected to feel so heartbroken. Although the weight on her shoulders had been lifted quite a lot, it had felt like that weight had just been shifted to her heart. Eddie had been her only support system, her only safe place but now she was all alone in a country that she didn’t even want to come to in the first place, but she hadn't really felt like she belonged in Iowa either so where did she belong? That was something that Dani realised that she would need to figure out for herself now.

Once the sun had started to set, Dani crawled underneath her duvet and sank into her mattress and tried her best to fall asleep. It was the first time that she had slept alone since she was 18 and the empty space beside her felt almost too much to handle. Dani just wished that she could call Jamie, have her come over and just hold her like she had done that night in the small patch of woods whilst they had watched the moonflowers together, but she knew that she couldn’t. She had to do this part alone. She had to feel everything that she was feeling and not hide away from it. Jamie would only dull the pain, but Dani needed to feel it all because it would only eat away at her if she pushed it aside. So, Dani laid on her back, staring up at the white ceiling above her as her whole body shook until she couldn’t cry anymore. Her whole life had just fallen apart and she didn’t know if she had been as ready for it as she had thought.


	9. Chapter 9

Jamie hadn't heard from Dani since Saturday night. They had texted each other constantly ever since Jamie had moved onto her next job but that had all suddenly stopped after Dani had texted her good night on Saturday. Jamie had texted her good morning the following day but ever since then she hadn't heard anything back. Jamie had just guessed that maybe Dani had been busy that day, so she hadn't sent another message but when she hadn't heard anything back by Monday, Jamie had texted her again just to see if she was okay, but she still hadn't heard anything back from Dani.

Jamie hadn't thought much of it at first but as the days passed by without so much as a single text, she had started to get a little worried. At first, she had worried that maybe Dani had fallen ill or something and that’s why she couldn’t text back but when she still hadn't heard anything from her by Tuesday, she had started to worry that maybe Dani was avoiding her or maybe she had done something to cause Dani to pull away.

Jamie had tried to call her on the Tuesday morning, but no one had picked up, so she had tried again that evening, but she still had no success. That night, Jamie hardly slept as she worried about Dani and contemplated what to do. If Dani needed space that was fine and the last thing that Jamie wanted to do was overstep and cause her to pull away even more but if Dani was in trouble or just needed her support, then she would never forgive herself if she didn’t at least try everything that she could think of to get in touch with her.

The next morning, Jamie had called Dani again but there was still no answer so she decided that after work, she would call round at Dani’s house to see if she was home. Jamie didn’t have much of a plan after that as all she was focused on was just trying to make sure that Dani was okay. She had no idea what she would do or say if Dani was there, and she had even less of an idea what to do if Dani wasn’t, but it wouldn’t do any harm just to try.

The rest of Wednesday painfully passed by as Jamie tried her best to focus on the job at hand, but her mind couldn’t help but constantly wonder back to thoughts of Dani. Although they hadn't known each other for very long, it felt extremely out of character for Dani to just not reply to her or at least tell her what was going on. Jamie wouldn’t have been mad if Dani needed some space, but it would have been nice to have just gotten a text saying that, so she didn’t go out of her mind with worry. However, Dani hadn't seemed like she had needed space as they had been texting all day Saturday and from what Jamie could infer, Dani had seemed to be in good spirits, so it felt really weird for her just to disappear off the face of the earth for a few days without so much as just a quick text.

That evening, Jamie left her job dot on 5pm and made her way across town to Dani’s house. The drive was around 30 minutes and for the whole time Jamie was contemplating just turning back around and heading home. What if she arrived at Dani’s and Dani didn’t want to see her? Jamie couldn’t for the life of her think what she could have done wrong to cause Dani to just shut her out like this, but she did understand that this was a monumental time in Dani’s life, and it was bound to have an effect on her, and Jamie just wanted to make sure that she was okay. 

Jamie pulled up outside of Dani’s house and awkwardly sat in her car as she still contemplated whether to knock on Dani’s door or not, but she eventually came to the decision that it couldn’t do any harm to just see if she was in. If Dani didn’t want to see her then that was fine and she would accept that decision but that didn’t mean that she wanted it to happen and if that did happen, then it would have all been her fault for knocking on Dani’s door unannounced. After much contemplation, Jamie eventually unbuckled her seatbelt and forced her legs to walk her the short distance up to Dani’s front door and she knocked hesitantly as she tried not to focus too much on the feeling of dread swirling around in her stomach.

Jamie waited and waited and waited and there still hadn't been any movement behind the door but just as Jamie was about to knock for the second and final time, she heard a small click of the lock yet there was a very long pause before the handle finally moved and the door was slowly opened.

The sight that was slowly revealed broke Jamie’s heart and the dread in her stomach quickly turned into guilt as her eyes fell upon Dani. Dani was stood behind her door, half shielding herself with it as she tightly wrapped the blanket that was draped over her shoulders around her. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot and red which suggested that she had been crying for a while and her hair was tied up in an overly messy bun which looked like it hadn't been bothered with for a few days. 

“Hey” Jamie whispered as she smiled softly up at Dani. All she wanted to do was wrap her up in her arms and try to comfort her, regardless of what may have happened but Dani clearly didn’t want that as if she did, she would have called or even just texted Jamie.

“Hey” Dani whispered back, her voice slightly hoarse as she offered Jamie a small, timid smile, “What are you doing here?”.

“Come to check to see if you were okay” Jamie said softly, “I was getting a little worried about you with you not texting for a few days”.

“I’m sorry” Dani whispered as she felt a stab of guilt in her stomach for not responding to any of Jamie’s messages and making her worried, “I didn’t mean to make you worried. I just, I needed a little time I think”.

“That’s okay” Jamie said as she smiled reassuringly at Dani, “I understand. I just wanted to check that you were okay is all”.

“I, erm” Dani started as she didn’t exactly know how to answer the question that Jamie had come all the way across town to ask and how to bring up what had happened over the past couple of days that would have made her answer to that question a little complicated, “Do you want to come in?”.

“No, it’s okay” Jamie said softly, “I don’t want to disturb you”.

“You’re not” Dani whispered as she could feel her throat starting to tighten as she quickly blinked away a few tears. Just seeing Jamie stood awkwardly on her doorstep was the best that she had felt since Sunday and she really didn’t want Jamie to leave after such a short amount of time. She knew that she probably hadn't handled the situation in the right way, and she had never meant to hurt Jamie, so she wanted the chance to explain herself, but she really didn’t think that it was appropriate to do that on her doorstep. “Please, come in. You really aren’t disturbing me” Dani whispered, almost pleading.

Jamie just smiled softly as she bowed her head a little and climbed the three steps up into Dani’s house and made her way inside as Dani moved back to let her in.

“Sorry for the mess” Dani said softly as she followed Jamie into her living room. 

As Jamie looked around, she saw a pile of blankets on one side of the sofa, a few boxes of tissues scattered around and a stack of used plates and mugs on the coffee table. It was clear that Dani hadn't moved from that one spot on the sofa for the past few days and Jamie was longing to know why. Had she upset Dani that much that she no longer had the energy to change out of her PJs and clean up after herself or had something else happened that Dani wasn’t telling her?

“It’s okay” Jamie said as she watched Dani start to clear the coffee table.

A few moments of silence passed as Jamie watched Dani try to accommodate her living room for her unexpected guest and as she did so, there was something clearly playing on Dani’s mind and Jamie was starting to get a little worried about what it was.

“Dani” Jamie said firmly enough to stop Dani from avoiding her eye contact by nervously clearing her coffee table, “What’s going on?”.

As Dani turned around to look at her, Jamie could see Dani’s bright blue eyes fill with tears and her bottom lip start to quiver. Dani suddenly let go of the cup that she was about to pick up as she couldn’t hold back her cries anymore and she sunk to the ground with her head in her hands.

“Hey, hey” Jamie whispered as she moved closer to Dani and bent down so that she could reach out her hands to place them softly on Dani’s arms, but she made sure to leave enough space between them just in case Dani needed it, “It’s okay. What’s wrong, Dani?”.

“I broke up with Eddie” Dani whispered as she hung her head low as not to look Jamie in the eyes.

“Oh, Dani” Jamie whispered. The sudden change in her behaviour and the lack of communication between the two of them started to make sense as Jamie processed the new information that Dani had told her and she let out a small sigh of relief as Dani’s odd behaviour wasn’t as a result of something that she had done wrong. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Jamie whispered as she gently rubbed her thumbs over Dani’s arms a little.

“I don’t know” Dani whispered as she kept her head bowed to avoid Jamie’s gaze, “I just thought that I needed to go through it on my own, but I think I was wrong. I need you”.

“Oh, sweetheart” Jamie whispered as she gently pulled Dani into her arms, “I’m here. I’ll always be here”.

Dani just let Jamie pull her close and she happily sank into Jamie’s body as Jamie wrapped her arms tightly around her.

“When did it happen?” Jamie whispered as she rubbed one of her hands up and down the length of Dani’s back as Dani cried into her neck.

“Sunday” Dani chocked out between her cries as she clung on tighter to Jamie’s body so that she knew that she was still there.

“You could have called me you know” Jamie whispered as she continued trying to soothe Dani the best that she could, “If you needed me”.

“I know” Dani said quietly as she tried her best to gain control over her cries so that she could have a proper conversation with Jamie. “I just, I thought that I didn’t deserve anyone to try and comfort me” Dani whispered in between a few soft sniffs, “I caused all this pain so why should I get to have someone to make me feel better?”.

“Hey” Jamie said firmly as she pulled away from the hug and placed her hands on either side of Dani’s face to make her look at her, “You deserve comfort, Dani and you deserve someone to support you through this. Don’t ever think that you have to do it on your own and that you aren’t worthy of love and affection, okay? What you did was brave and admirable, and you may have caused this current pain that you and Eddie are probably both feeling right now but what you have done has allowed you both to be able to find real, true love. That isn’t something to feel guilty about because you’ve saved the both of you from a considerably more amount of pain in the future. I’m proud of you Dani, I really am, and you should be proud of yourself too and allow yourself a little comfort”.

Dani’s almost dried eyes only filled with more and more tears as Jamie spoke and even though it was hard to accept what Jamie was telling her, she knew that she needed some comfort and reassurance more than anything right now. She had deprived herself of that since Sunday and it had only made her feel more and more upset, so she pushed her feelings of guilt and pain aside and slowly lent in towards Jamie’s lips as she searched her eyes for consent.

Jamie could feel Dani moving herself forward and before she got too close, Jamie paused her movement by stopping her face with her hands that were still cupping her cheeks. She couldn’t wait to kiss Dani again, but she wanted it to be at the right time and she also didn’t want Dani to come to regret it in the future. Did Dani really want to kiss her right now or was she just seeking out some much needed comfort? Although Jamie wasn’t opposed to providing her with that type of comfort right now, she didn’t want Dani to make a decision that might come to affect their relationship later on. Jamie could also see the state that Dani had been in for some days now and she really didn’t want to take advantage of her when she was like that, no matter how good kissing Dani again would be, but it would be worth the wait.

“Dani” Jamie whispered as she gave Dani a soft smile, “As much as I want to kiss you right now, do you think that we should wait and do it properly?”.

Dani furrowed her brow in confusion a little as she pulled her head back a little. She hadn't thought that Jamie would push her back as she had broken up with Eddie now so there was really nothing stopping them from doing what they wanted to do. “What do you mean?” Dani whispered as she searched Jamie’s eyes again to find an answer.

“I’d like to do this properly, me and you” Jamie said softly as her hands stayed in place on Dani’s cheeks as her thumbs drew arches over her cheekbones, “I haven’t done much right in my life, but I would really like for us to do this properly if that’s alright with you”.

Dani’s furrowed brow loosened a little as she realised that Jamie wasn’t pulling away from her but wanting to start their relationship in the right way and if she was being honest, she was glad. Although she would have loved to just get lost in the feeling of Jamie’s body on hers, she knew that she would only be doing it as a way to feel something other than hurt or pain and she really didn’t want to use Jamie like that. “How?” Dani whispered as she placed one of her hands over one of Jamie’s on her face.

“How about you let me take you out, huh?” Jamie suggested with a widening smile on her face as she realised that Dani wasn’t mad at her, “We could both get dressed up and I’ll take you out to a one of those fancy restaurants in town for our first real date. How does that sound?”.

A wide grin appeared on Dani’s face and it was the first real smile that had formed on her lips in quite a few days. “That sounds amazing” Dani whispered as she took Jamie’s hand from her face and brought it to her lips to give it a soft kiss.

“Are you free tomorrow night?” Jamie asked as she squeezed Dani’s hand excitedly.

“Yeah” Dani said giggling as she felt the hurt in her heart slowly start to ease.

“Well then, Dani O’Mara, I’ll pick you up at 6pm then” Jamie said as she pulled Dani into a tight hug.

“Clayton” Dani whispered against Jamie’s ear as she returned the tight embrace, “Dani Clayton”.

“Oh, shit, sorry” Jamie whispered as she cursed herself for making such a stupid mistake of calling the woman who had just broken up with her husband a few days ago her married name.

“It’s okay” Dani said softly as she pulled away from the hug, “Not much of a fan of Clayton either but it will do for now”.

“It’s a beautiful name” Jamie said as she began to make her way to her feet then helped Dani up with her.

“I’d much prefer Taylor” Dani joked as she wrapped her arms around Jamie’s neck and winked playfully at her.

Jamie laughed loudly at the comment and shook her head, “Steady on, we’ve not even been on our first proper date yet”.

“I can't wait to” Dani whispered as she placed a soft kiss to Jamie’s cheek.

“Me neither” Jamie whispered back as she pulled Dani into another tight embrace.

Jamie stayed at Dani’s house for the rest of the evening helping Dani clean up a little as well as trying to lighten her mood too. She could tell that the past few days had been tough on Dani, but she could also tell that this was the best that Dani had felt in a while. Her shoulders were no longer tense, she was no longer holding herself tightly and her eyes seemed a lot brighter, despite being a little bloodshot. Jamie never asked about what had happened on Sunday as she knew that Dani would tell her if she wanted her to know and it would probably take a while for her to process everything that had gone on and for now, Jamie just wanted to make Dani feel safe, supported and happy.

Once Jamie had helped Dani clean up a little, Jamie order them a pizza whilst Dani chose them a movie to watch and then they cuddled up on the sofa for the rest of the night. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you or anything” Dani whispered whilst she played with the material of Jamie’s t-shirt as she laid on her chest. 

The movie had finished well over 10 minutes ago and neither Dani nor Jamie had moved as they didn’t want the night to come to an end and both of them were way too comfy to get up too.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologise, Dani” Jamie said softly as she gently ran her fingers up and down Dani’s side, “I just wanted to know that you were alright”.

“I know and I should have just texted you, but I really didn’t want to face what had happened” Dani whispered, “If I told you then it would have been real”.

“You did the right thing y’know” Jamie said reassuringly, “I know it might not feel that way right now, but it will do one day”.

“It does feel right” Dani whispered, “At least I think that it does anyway. I no longer feel like there’s something lingering in the back of my mind or that I’m living a lie and I don’t feel guilty anymore, about doing this with you. But I still feel guilty about what I did. I just didn’t want anyone to get hurt”.

“I know you didn’t” Jamie whispered back as she took hold of Dani’s hand that was resting on her stomach, “But you should be proud of yourself, Dani. You put yourself first for once and that takes a lot of courage”.

“I couldn’t have done it without you” Dani said softly as she lifted her head off of Jamie’s chest and looked up at her.

“You could have” Jamie said with a small smile on her lips, “I know you could have”.

“But you gave me the confidence to do so” Dani whispered, “And you made me feel like I wasn’t the only person in the world who had ever felt like this. For so long I had felt so alone but then you came along and now I know that it’s okay to feel how I feel. I would have never gotten to that point if you hadn't showed up on my doorstep that day”.

“I think you would have gotten there without me, Poppins” Jamie said softly as she squeezed Dani’s hand gently, “But I’m glad that you think I may have played a small part”.

Dani smiled softly as she laid her head back onto Jamie’s chest and wrapped her arm around her as she let her eyes flutter shut. She had never in all of her life felt so safe and comfortable and content and she wouldn’t change this feeling for the world. This was what she had always imagine love to be ever since she was a little girl; feeling truly at peace and that was the one thing that she had never really felt with Eddie in all of the years that she had been with him.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Dani whispered quietly as she felt sleep start to take over her. Dani hadn't slept properly since Sunday and she could feel the lack of sleep start to overcome her as she listened to Jamie’s heartbeat through her chest.

“If you want me to, yeah” Jamie whispered as she tightened her grip around Dani’s body.

“I never want you to leave” Dani said quietly as she tried hard to fight the sleep.

“Me too” Jamie whispered against the top of Dani’s head before she placed a soft kiss to it, “Me too”.


End file.
